This is the encore to "going out in Public with difficult child" posted yesterday. Mostly just a way for me to vent arount others that understand. Started out the day looking for another private pre-school for difficult child while the negotioations with SD continue. The place would never work-won't bore you with details. difficult child had the teacher and other kids pretty freaked out within 5 minutes of touring the place. Proceeded to Neurologist and discuss increasing Risperdal to 0.5mgs at night and adding 0.25 in am next week unless things are much better on 0.5 pm alone. Discuss her filling out OHI paperwork which she is happy to do. After that is therapy. It was almost enjoyable to watch difficult child try to control and maul intern the entire session (last week the focus of the therapy was my parenting style vs husband and mother in law) so I took a little guilty pleasure in this session Went to food court for lunch before stop at neuropsychologist to pick-up ammended report (that reflects expulsion from school and recommendations for PPCD) After navigating the horrors of the packed food court while alone with difficult child (no, unfortunately, there is no one that can help me on these visits) I actually got to eat lunch The only times previously that this has occured at hospital was when difficult child was admitted. difficult child ate as well. I was cleaning up our trash and asked difficult child if he was done with his fries and if it was ok for me to throw them away. he replies YES. I throw them away and he explodes like someone stuck a hot poker up his rear. Yelling, screaming, ripping his clothes off, biting me, scratching me. I sit on the floor with him, try to hold him so that he will not run wild through the place (he is wearing only a t-shirt at this point) get his underwear back on, but the rage continues, I am sobbing, people are horrified but not offering to help until a kind woman sitting close sees how bad it really is. I am sitting on top of difficult child while he is attcking me-any attempt to give him some space and he tries to flee, good samaritan helps me trap him in corner. Phone neuro and tell them that I am on my way up there. Receptionist tells me to go to ER- I say NO, I just need a safe quiet room for him. Good Samaritan carries my stuff and his clothes while I carry raging difficult child up to the neuro floor. I am scratched up and so is he. He is screaming. It was quite the scene. One that I have been through too many times already THANK GOD this one occured where I could actually get some help! Once in a quiet room where I can safely let him go he is better but still pretty enraged. doctor comes in talks to us and returns with some Risperdal. Tells me to wait there until I feel safe enough to drive with him. I ask her "what am I supposed to do with him when he does this at home? Two weeks ago when I phoned mother in law/father in law they thought I was over-reacting. Therapist says that I am supposed to remain in control, so what do you think?" She replies that he needs a "safe room." (with lock on outside so I can lock him in when he is dangerous) One of you veterans had posted this as the solution when I posted the story two weeks ago. But the therapist shot the idea down. Neuro doctor had a meeting to go to but tomorrow I will phone her and get "safe room" instructions in writing or an actual prescription written for such. I do not think that the 0.25mg Risperdal tablet she gave him helped as much as a place for him to just get it out of his system with hurting himself or others. He was not sedated by the medications and remained agitated for at least two hours. I never want to go <u>anywhere</u> with difficult child again! I feel like I have PTSD! Have an appointment with therapist for me next week. God I hate this! So much time, energy, and money spent on this crap! I hate epilepsy, odd, adhd, and whatever else he has as much as a mother with a kid that has a brain tumor hates cancer. When I read the posts of you veterans with older difficult children it makes me want to cry. I see my life before me and don't know how I will survive this child. I know that forums like these self-select for the worst cases and those that improve drop out most of the time. But when I look at my little difficult child I see a very long hard road for all of us.