Meltdown city

[crazymama30]

The next time I say difficult child is doing good, will someone please just gag me!!!

I had to go to the store, difficult child wanted to go. I said fine, I am buying what I am going for and nothing else. We are not buying toys. He said ok, I want to go. He has been doing well, so I said he could go. He went to look at the toys, and was fine when I told him no to buying a toy and that it was time to leave. We went near the checkout on the way to buy printer ink, and he wanted me to give him money to buy candy. I said no. He started arguing, I said no to toys not to candy. I should buy candy. This went on all through the check out, with then both kids yelling at me that I don't buy them anything. I just told them I am sorry they feel that way, and that I cannot always buy them what they want but I buy them what they need. He continued to yell, easy child had calmed down by now, and then he started sitting on the u check bagging area. He knows this messes everything up.

We got home, and he has broken several toys, was hyperventilating and would not breathe into a paper bag because I was trying to kill him. Oh the joys, the joys.

I think he is going to sleep. I hope.

 

[totoro]

Yuck. Did they go back to School today?

K went back to School today, so we had the breakdown because she was just overwhelmed from too much.
I had to hear about how she hated me and husband because she wanted to watch TV, but we somehow made the show she wanted to watch not be on!?!?!
She also hated us because her homework was overwhelming... we told her she didn't have to do it tonight. Not good enough.
Lots of door slamming, screaming and "I hate you's"
Conspiracy theories were being thrown all around!!!

We had to just sit back and ride it out....

Sorry it hoovers at your house tonight!!!
K used to never bug me at the store until the past year. Now she acts like a 4 yo... like her sister!!!
I am so wiped out...

 

[crazymama30]

Yep, the first day back to school. Then there was the problem with his friend. I think it was the build up. I am mean too, so it must be a good sign. Maybe to be good parents we have to be mean??

The weird thing is he has not wanted to go to the store with me lately.

And homework?? I am so not worrying about that today.

 

[Andy]

What is it with kids thinking we NEVER buy them anything? My kids take it one step further - not only do I NEVER buy them anything but I ALWAYS buy their sibling anything he or she asks for! UGH

My difficult child has decided it is his job to monitor how much I spend on his sister because 1. He doesn't believe we should be spending that much and 2. We don't ever buy anything for him. He thinks I should tell him how much I spend on non-easy child diva so that he can tattle to husband and be upset for husband. Needless to say that did not make for a joyful night last night. I tell him it is none of his business what I do with the family finances, it is between his dad and myself and that when he is non-easy child diva's age I am sure he will find things for me to buy him. The second was a lame defense because difficult child has a good sense of budgeting and saving and not wasting.

Good for you to follow through on your word.

 

[pleez_help]

My difficult child is the same way. I HATE to take him to the store with me. I try not to anymore that I have to. husband works rotating shifts so, there are time where I don't have a choice. I tell my difficult child when he says that he hates me and that I'm mean "honey I am your mother, not your friend. I can not make you happy all the time, so I must be doing something right." Sometimes it works and sometimes it don't.

 

[Rotsne]

When my children were younger, we parents made an agreement. My wife was under no circumstances allowed to take the children out shopping and I did only take one at the time.

My wife is ill and to this very day she suffers from the idea that she ownes them something for being ill. They could take her on too easy. I could control one of the children, but two of them meant that they thought that they could win a dispute (they could not) but why give them that option?

Candy is brought to the home, soft drinks also. They know that there is no point in asking for something that is not in the house.

 

[aeroeng]

You did the write thing. You explained it before hand, and you stuck to your stand. Yet after every correct move you made it still exploded. Man that is frustrating. But you still did the correct thing.

I am the type that loves to give small gifts, and it has been very hard to walk by the dollar store and not stop for a surprise. But if I give just the slightest amount my difficult child blows it all out of proportions. "It's not fair.....", "You never ...." and manipulates things away from his brothers. Only simple works, (and that not real well).

The only other thing you could do would be to walk out of the store (without the ink) and come back later. And that is so difficult to do.

 

[bran155]

Good for you for standing your ground!!! That is not easy when you have 2 kids crying at the checkout while the onlookers sneer at you. So kudos to you. Good job mom. You're right about mean parents, you know you're being a good parent if your kids hate you!!! Oh, the irony. I guess I should be mom of the year in that case. My daughter always hates me!!!!

Hang in there Mom.

 

[compassion]

My condolences After the 3.5 hour meltdown Sunday, I know how exhausting this is. I do think it is great you stood your ground. I look for triggers but sometimes those meltdowns occur. I used to shop at a vrey earlt time very quickly. I still love shopping very early, even by myself.
I find money boundaries is a huge issue with difficult child. She has $3 left for the entire week. I model self restraint. Compassion

 

[Steely]

So sorry..........

Meltdowns are not nearly as traumatic for the kids as they are for the parents. Undeniably. They get to spew their venom, and we as parents are supposed to constantly deflect? Come on. There is only so much a human can take. Sigh.

And I know the feeling of saying things are going good, and then the next day it falls to pieces. I think I am almost superstitious at this point. If someone asks me how difficult child is doing, I hedge or dodge the entire topic.

I hope today is better.

 

[crazymama30]

Well, today husband picked difficult child up for therapy from school and he was in the principals office. Not so good.


Then tonight he wanted to go to the store and buy whoppers with the change he found laying around the house. NO NO NO and NO!!! Then he did not understand why I said no.

Steely, I agree. Not traumatic for the kids but killer on the parents. I love it when the whole store is staring in disgust as my 11yr old acts like a 2 yr old.