Men are like: Laxatives - they irritate the carp out of you. Bananas - The older they get the less firm they are. Weather - Nothing can be done to change them. Blenders - You need one, but you are not quite sure why. Chocolate Bars - Smooth, sweet and they usually head right for your hips. Coffee - The best ones are rich, warm and can keep you up all night long. Commercials - You can't believe a word they say. Department Stores - Their clothes are always one half off. Government Bonds - They take SOOOO long to mature. Mascara - They usually run at the first sign of emotion. Popcorn - They satisfy you, but only for a little while. Lava Lamps - Fun to look at but not very bright. Parking Spots - The good ones are taken and the rest are all handicapped.