Mental Illness Contagious (??)

[hearts and roses]

I also wanted to comment on what an interesting thread this is.

I agree that it is all the other people and happenings in my life that help me to keep from going crazy. I grew up in a bonafied nuthouse, complete with addictive behaviors and abuse, and I have to say, I am often amazed at how relatively 'okay' my siblings and I have turned out. I mean, whatever that means for each of us...

I am so grateful for my few friends, both live and on this board. I can say that being able to reach out to people I trust, and away from the mayhem, has really helped me stay sane over the years.

Hugs, gg.

 

[Marcie Mac]

GG, maybe the therapist was headed towards "preparing" you for a tragic outcome given the odds. If you haven't gone back, you don't know really where that train of thought was headed, and are just left to think about it.

With my SO, although there is a lot of fight in him and he is determined to live normally despite illness, there is no "possibility" of him getting physically better, there is only a downhill road, and he has made me aware that when he loses what he considers a quality to his life, he will make the choice to end it, and I am not to interfere.

Its difficult to live a normal life with someone whose odds of survival are not in their favor. Its like the elphant in the living room - its extremely stressful having that thing take up so much room in your life.

Hugs to you

Marcie

 

[mom_to_3]

I don't know how some of you do it! You have so much on your plates to deal with. I don't think mental illness is contagious, but I know the effects of it are far reaching and the impact on the lives of those close are very real.

As time has gone on for us, my anxiety level just continues to rise. I hate this for myself, but I have always been an emotional person. If you feel it, I'm right there living it with you. I work hard to not accept anxiety producing emotion for me anyway, from anyone else.

For those of you living with a SO with issue's whether they be mental or medical, my heart goes out to you. I hope you are able to nurture yourself and keep life in perspective.

 

[witzend]

Yes, "likely" seems much more realistic than "inevitable". After all, he may get hit by a car or develop a terminal cancer and not make another attempt.

The "Next time I attempt I will not fail" statement is very concerning. That sounds like a plan. I don't know how you do it, GG.

I know it seems cruel, but what would happen if you said something to the effect of "Next time you talk like that I am leaving because I can't do it anymore"? Is it possible that he takes for granted that you will stay forever no matter what he does? I'd really look into more inpatient right now for him, even though it seems hopeless. Has he tried ECT? I know it sounds barbaric, but they know much more about it now than they used to, and many people swear by it.

 

[goldenguru]

Heh Witz -

Yes his 'next time' statement threw me for a loop. His therapist has suggested that he find some sort of longer term residential facility. P hospitals are acute facilities - they mostly manage medications and get patients past the current crisis. Period.

The trouble is that residential placements for adults are 1) nearly impossible to find - as in none in my state exist and 2) the costs are prohibitive - as in upwards of 4 grand a month. We are currently unemployed. 'Aint gonna happen.

He did ECT two years ago after his first failed attempt. Didn't do a lick. Except, he can't remember being depressed because he couldn't remember anything.

Thanks for the ideas though. The bottom line is that for chronic sufferers there just doesn't seem to be a lot of hope. Thus - my need to figure out my own role in this twisted mess.

 

[witzend]

Is there any way you guys can afford a long-term treatment facility? To me, the idea would be terrifying because I would think "Cuckoo's Nest". But living in constant sadness isn't much better. It's just the devil he knows.

 

[Nomad]

GG...
AH...
Last night I went to bed worrying about the very comment you quoted, but had to get up very early and was gone all day..just got back now...so could not change it.
I think that if a loved one wants help and is likely to benefit from the help and if that help would not hurt us, it seems like it might be a good idea to offer the help. However, the bottom line is that a person is not likely to change, if they don't really want to change personally. If they don't want to do it inwardly. That is one of the reasons why I think (still processing this myself) it might be a good idea for loved ones to offer and/or encourage therapy. At least it might open doors for change. Of course, if the loved one wants to go to therapy...that is even better. Therapy might open the door for change...the inward change. However, you can not force anyone to do this.
With reference to your original question/comment...
If your therapist feels strongly that the situation with your husband is dire, I would do what I said above...encourage him to go to therapy and if long term care if the preferred care, I would explore this. Again, you can not force him into this treatment.
by the way...let the therapists do this work. My guess...you have the right idea about "just listening..." you will know in your gut what is right and can explore this with your own therapist.
You have an obligation to yourself to live a healthy life. Your therapist's contract/obligation is with you. He/she is encouraging you to face a possibility and asking you to look at probabilities. The therapist feels that facing reality will be better for your mental health. Their obligation is to you.
Perhaps this is some form of reality therapy.
You have a right to ask additional questions regarding this.
I do think considering the situation you are facing, it sounds like a very good idea to remain in therapy. YOu might call your previous therapist and ask a few of these questions or go see him or her for clarification, etc.
If this person is not a good fit, you can always ask around for names.
This is a horrible place to be in and my heart goes out to you.
by the way...there are overachievers and underachievers. Overdoers and "under" doers. We talk alot about "under" doers on this website. Right? These extremes are not healthy. If you do for others (over doer( to the extent that you do not do for yourself or are unhappy to the point of questioning your own mental health...what have you accomplished in the end?
A therapist can be part of your support system.
You might want to look at this from the perspective of a friend in this situation/ What would you suggest she do? Perhaps therapy....a little rest...a few good friends...gentle exercise....good nutrition....a spiritual book by her side... what else? Whatever it might be....please do the same for yourself.
I hope this was not too much information and was helpful.
Good thoughts for your strength and wisdom.

 

[witzend]

All very wise words, Nomad. GG's situation and that of her husband is heartbreaking.