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messed up / lost it
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 22512" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>What is your son's diagnosis? Do you have good support for him at the school?</p><p></p><p>It is good that he showed he could do well. I know (from what you say) that right now it is so very hard for you, but he really does want to please you. It is important to him. But he has trouble holding things together as well as other kids. He tries but can't do it all the time, and when he fails and shouts at you or vice versa, it undermines any good efforts he's making.</p><p></p><p>If you and your husband aren't on the same page (and that sounds like an understatement at the moment) then it's only going to get worse. difficult child is confused, getting mixed messages and clearly doesn't want you to separate. All this is happening around him and just escalating the problems.</p><p></p><p>In all your efforts to work so hard and hold things together, you're burning out and doing more damage than good, purely from exhaustion. husband sounds like he's lost the plot also. I'm not sure what services you could plug into in your area, but if you could get some counselling for all three of you, to help you learn to defuse, learn to look after yourselves and most of all, learn to communicate and work together (I include difficult child here) then it would hopefully be the start of a turnaround. But if you can't work as a team, the three of you, it IS going to get worse.</p><p></p><p>If husband won't be part of such a team effort with counselling and support, then at least do it yourself and take difficult child. It's a start and has got to help.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 22512, member: 1991"] What is your son's diagnosis? Do you have good support for him at the school? It is good that he showed he could do well. I know (from what you say) that right now it is so very hard for you, but he really does want to please you. It is important to him. But he has trouble holding things together as well as other kids. He tries but can't do it all the time, and when he fails and shouts at you or vice versa, it undermines any good efforts he's making. If you and your husband aren't on the same page (and that sounds like an understatement at the moment) then it's only going to get worse. difficult child is confused, getting mixed messages and clearly doesn't want you to separate. All this is happening around him and just escalating the problems. In all your efforts to work so hard and hold things together, you're burning out and doing more damage than good, purely from exhaustion. husband sounds like he's lost the plot also. I'm not sure what services you could plug into in your area, but if you could get some counselling for all three of you, to help you learn to defuse, learn to look after yourselves and most of all, learn to communicate and work together (I include difficult child here) then it would hopefully be the start of a turnaround. But if you can't work as a team, the three of you, it IS going to get worse. If husband won't be part of such a team effort with counselling and support, then at least do it yourself and take difficult child. It's a start and has got to help. Marg [/QUOTE]
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