Sigh... I came away from dinner with difficult child last night feeling very depressed for him. He is really kind of stuck.... public transportation is poor where he lives. He really needs to get out of his current living situation. We offered to match what he could pay in rent and told him we did not want to set conditions on our help. I do not want to get into conditions of sobriety because they have never worked in the past.... and he just ends up trying to get around our rules anyway. He is not living at home so I just don't want to go there. What I realized is this means I am willing to help with rent but I am not willing to help with a car because I don't want it on my head if he gets a car and drives drunk. So we told him all that. He just seems so down and so stuck and he admits he has no one to blame but himself. He is not at all open right now to going into a sober living place or basically moving. He just feels he has moved a lot and he has done the sober living thing and just doesn't want to do that right now. I think it would be the best thing but it has to be his choice. Meanwhile he is working, keeping his job, saving most of his paycheck and trying to get an appointment with a doctor to get back on an antidepressant which I think he really needs. So he is trying to move forward but is stuck without transportation, his girlfriend broke up with him, a terrible living situation, and not a lot of good sober support. Ugh the whole thing got me really depressed. So I think we are going to really try and help him get an apartment. He needs a reasonable place to live. I hate to cosign but I think we are probably gong to have to do it. I really think he is likely to relapse even more if he stays where he is. And you know at 19 I would not have been able to figure this all out on my own! He really has made things so hard on himself. I feel really bad and sad for him. I heard a quote this morning that really applies and probably applies to a lot of our difficult children...."Good judgement comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgement".