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met him for lunch
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 738275" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>His feelings about your husband are his to own. If he has issues with your husband then he should be telling him, not you. Again, our difficult adult children are really good at misplaced anger.</p><p>Your son is holding onto bitterness that has nothing to do with him. </p><p>There's a saying: "Holding onto anger and bitterness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die"</p><p></p><p></p><p>My suggestion to you is this, stop trying to explain your feelings to him. You do not owe him any kind of explanation. You made a choice to stay with your husband and that is none of your son's business. Again, if he has an issue with your husband then he needs to tell him, not you. </p><p>When your son brings it up, you could simply say, "that's too bad you feel that way" if he keeps at it, repeat the same line. When you've had enough, simply tell him "this is not open for discussion anymore"</p><p>One thing I have learned is to <u>never</u> offer explanations to my son. You see, it's trap they use to pull us down the rabbit hole. It's a manipulation tactic that plays with our emotions.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes, you need to forgive yourself. You are human.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 738275, member: 18516"] His feelings about your husband are his to own. If he has issues with your husband then he should be telling him, not you. Again, our difficult adult children are really good at misplaced anger. Your son is holding onto bitterness that has nothing to do with him. There's a saying: "Holding onto anger and bitterness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die" My suggestion to you is this, stop trying to explain your feelings to him. You do not owe him any kind of explanation. You made a choice to stay with your husband and that is none of your son's business. Again, if he has an issue with your husband then he needs to tell him, not you. When your son brings it up, you could simply say, "that's too bad you feel that way" if he keeps at it, repeat the same line. When you've had enough, simply tell him "this is not open for discussion anymore" One thing I have learned is to [U]never[/U] offer explanations to my son. You see, it's trap they use to pull us down the rabbit hole. It's a manipulation tactic that plays with our emotions. Yes, you need to forgive yourself. You are human. [/QUOTE]
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