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Substance Abuse
Meth...I don't get it
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<blockquote data-quote="Californiablonde" data-source="post: 654949" data-attributes="member: 2196"><p>I am a bit ashamed to admit I am a former meth addict (sober 13 years) so I can give you a little perspective having been addicted to the drug for 5 years. Meth is particularly evil drug, in my opinion. The high is super addicting super fast. Normally I am an incredibly shy, introverted person. I have terrible social anxiety. The meth made me suddenly super outgoing. I was carrying on conversations with strangers at the store,the bank, etc, and making new friends like crazy. My kids' dad and I started doing meth together right before I got pregnant with</p><p>difficult child. I begrudgingly quit while I was pregnant with her, watched my friends and her dad get high in front of me, and resented the hell out of it. As soon as I gave birth, literally THE day I got out of the hospital, I went right back to using.</p><p></p><p>I used while difficult child was sleeping, I used when she was awake, and I got various people to babysit so I could use more with my friends and her dad. I felt on top of the world. I was for once in my life super skinny, very outgoing, and loving life. I grew up listening to the drug talks in elementary school and middle school. I participated in red ribbon week. I knew the dangers beforehand. I had seen pictures and billboards of meth users with yellow, rotten teeth, looking 20 years older than their real age, and it still didn't stop me. The drug had literally taken over my whole life. We spent our rent and food money for more meth. My kids' dad and I eventually lost our apartment. We both lost various jobs. He was arrested 3 times for possession and court ordered rehab. He still used and so did I.</p><p></p><p>When I got pregnant with easy child is when I finally stopped using for good. I was pregnant with a 2 year old, no place to live except a dirty motel room, and something suddenly snapped in me. I decided I was NOT bringing another child into this world living the incredibly dysfunctional life I was living. My kids' dad continued to use throughout my pregnancy, and for awhile I broke off all contact with him to ensure myself I would stay sober. He did show up when easy child was delivered at the hospital, and after I gave birth he swore never to use again. We both decided we had had enough. We broke off contact COMPLETELY with every single friend of ours who was still using. To this day, I have multiple friends that I don't even know are alive or dead. So be it. did what I had to do for myself and my children.</p><p></p><p>Now I look back and I'm horrified of the things I said/did while using. I could have had difficult child removed from my home permanently or worse. I could have lost a lot more than I did. I am grateful that God willing I decided to leave that life behind me for good. But the effects are still there. I am almost 100 percent convinced I became bipolar due to my previous drug use. My brain is permanently damaged. I don't get happy anymore. I don't even laugh at funny movies. My kids tell me I have no sense of humor. I will never be the person I was before I was an addict. Part of me is sad for that, but I am oh so proud of myself for my accomplishments despite my setbacks. I can only hope my own kids don't travel down the same path that I have led. Anyway, I just wanted to chime in and give you some perspective on how the drug really works. It's evil and dangerous, and I will be keeping you and your daughter in my prayers.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Californiablonde, post: 654949, member: 2196"] I am a bit ashamed to admit I am a former meth addict (sober 13 years) so I can give you a little perspective having been addicted to the drug for 5 years. Meth is particularly evil drug, in my opinion. The high is super addicting super fast. Normally I am an incredibly shy, introverted person. I have terrible social anxiety. The meth made me suddenly super outgoing. I was carrying on conversations with strangers at the store,the bank, etc, and making new friends like crazy. My kids' dad and I started doing meth together right before I got pregnant with difficult child. I begrudgingly quit while I was pregnant with her, watched my friends and her dad get high in front of me, and resented the hell out of it. As soon as I gave birth, literally THE day I got out of the hospital, I went right back to using. I used while difficult child was sleeping, I used when she was awake, and I got various people to babysit so I could use more with my friends and her dad. I felt on top of the world. I was for once in my life super skinny, very outgoing, and loving life. I grew up listening to the drug talks in elementary school and middle school. I participated in red ribbon week. I knew the dangers beforehand. I had seen pictures and billboards of meth users with yellow, rotten teeth, looking 20 years older than their real age, and it still didn't stop me. The drug had literally taken over my whole life. We spent our rent and food money for more meth. My kids' dad and I eventually lost our apartment. We both lost various jobs. He was arrested 3 times for possession and court ordered rehab. He still used and so did I. When I got pregnant with easy child is when I finally stopped using for good. I was pregnant with a 2 year old, no place to live except a dirty motel room, and something suddenly snapped in me. I decided I was NOT bringing another child into this world living the incredibly dysfunctional life I was living. My kids' dad continued to use throughout my pregnancy, and for awhile I broke off all contact with him to ensure myself I would stay sober. He did show up when easy child was delivered at the hospital, and after I gave birth he swore never to use again. We both decided we had had enough. We broke off contact COMPLETELY with every single friend of ours who was still using. To this day, I have multiple friends that I don't even know are alive or dead. So be it. did what I had to do for myself and my children. Now I look back and I'm horrified of the things I said/did while using. I could have had difficult child removed from my home permanently or worse. I could have lost a lot more than I did. I am grateful that God willing I decided to leave that life behind me for good. But the effects are still there. I am almost 100 percent convinced I became bipolar due to my previous drug use. My brain is permanently damaged. I don't get happy anymore. I don't even laugh at funny movies. My kids tell me I have no sense of humor. I will never be the person I was before I was an addict. Part of me is sad for that, but I am oh so proud of myself for my accomplishments despite my setbacks. I can only hope my own kids don't travel down the same path that I have led. Anyway, I just wanted to chime in and give you some perspective on how the drug really works. It's evil and dangerous, and I will be keeping you and your daughter in my prayers. [/QUOTE]
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