I am glad I have not let the ol' wall down concerning my Father. If that is what I can even call him. K went all manic on us, Friday before we left. Poor thing. At the airport she went *insane* under the chairs, throwing things. Would not let husband near her. I had to lay on the floor with her. We made it to my Dad's hours OK. He and his Wife did really well until Tuesday. He had a ton of stuff planned for the girls. K was a wreck, we had to change her medications. She was out of it Sunday and Monday, but she was trooper. They swam, played on the beach, had a treasure hunt, watched movies in his cinema. We ate a lot. Tuesday Golden Boy showed up, my Brother. I am realizing most of the problem is my Dad. Yes my Brother is an alcoholic, yes he most likely has Mental Illness and some type of Personality Disorder. But my Dad feeds it. Right from the get go it was drink, drink, drink. He stopped even noticing us. Just like my whole teen years. He stared talking down to me, treated husband poorly. They both treat women like dirt, so because my husband respects women, well you know. So that night, my Stepmom tried to show husband how to turn off my Dad's beloved TV system, something got messed up! She is not allowed to touch it. He never told us we could not touch it. As he got drunker and drunker he was ruder and ruder. He was rude to my Brothers fiance as well. He started talking very sexually as well. All of the women they slept with when they were dealing, transporting and living in Mexico. Just disgusting stuff. Talking bad about me, how many things they made me do when I was a teen. Finally my Dad starts in on me about this whole stereo thing. He keeps asking me are the girls going to watch a movie, I don't know? He gets irate! He screams at me, "I need to know because *everyone* is f'ing it up" I go and get the girls and rush them back to tour room and set them up on them computer. He proceeds to scream at me and talk down to me the rest of the night, threatening me, going on about how if someone is going to take his grandkids away, well f' them and he will fix things. He "has guns all over the house". "He can disapear" If people don't like the way he is, f' them! He then goes on and on about sex, how he will f' anyone, disgusting talk with my Brother. Screaming, I can't leave, because it will make him madder. He keeps threatening to no-one in particular, about how he has killed people. How he has had others try to take his grandkids away on his wives side and how they have fixed them. How if people don't like the rules he can take care of them. husband tried to say he was sorry for anything he may he have done and it was a misunderstanding, he turned on him and screamed, "stay out of this, it is none of your business" I tried to say something and he screamed at me to shutup. I was so so scared to do anything, he has guns all over, he was just like he was when I was growing up when he would threaten to kill us if we said anything. I finally was able to say goodnight I hugged him and he said, Sorry if I got a little loud! I said, Yeah... He then went out in the hot tub with my Brother and his fiance and they were naked, screamed all night. Right next to out room. Talked about sick thing... kept shining the flashlight in our rooms. The rest of the couple of days he spent showering my brother with how cool he is because he runs a resteraunt and he is a rebel and wild. Because he cheats on his fiance and she is sooo stupid and believes him when he says he just *spent* the night. The girls had to beg for attention. husband and I kept them busy swimming and at the beach. He apologized a bunch of times and said he is freaking out about money and moving and let himself get too drunk. I saw that he is still the same. I am just so sad for the girls. I knew this might be the case, I had just hoped he might truly want a relationship with those girls. I really do not know what to do. husband feels so bad for me. I did not let the wall down. But now it is so much thicker. I am going to distance myself slowly I think. I will never go down there again. He has already written asking if we made it home. I wrote back saying yes, everything is fine. I think I will stick to basic letters, I don't even want to waste my time getting into it. I just feel so fricken empty. Part of me just wishes he never came back. Not even a part, all of me. I wish he would go away. I felt that the minute he contact me 2 years ago. I hate my family I really do. Not my little little I have made. You guys are more family to me than... I am sorry this sooo long. I just needed to get this yuck out.