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Substance Abuse
Mini update, difficult child now living out of state
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<blockquote data-quote="Signorina" data-source="post: 625512"><p>No, he doesn't have any student loans outstanding afaik. When he moved back home last year, he worked to pay off his outstanding balance with his former university so that they would release his transcripts so he could attend school in the fall. He paid them monthly & they seized his state tax refund (state school) until it was paid off. We paid for his fall semester at community college. Since he's now failed out of a state university and a community college, he isn't eligible for admittance anywhere & I don't think he is eligible for student loans. He was getting overdraft notices from his bank here in January & Feb - about the time he moved out -- until he changed his address. He spends it as quickly as he earns it which is sad bc he earns a decent wage, I think he earned close to 20k last year and he lived at home. </p><p></p><p>He just has nothing to show for the past 4 years of his life. No transportation, no savings account, no long term employment plans, nada. It will catch up with him someday and I feel like he is running away from reality, buying time.</p><p></p><p>That's what bothers me the most - I know it sounds like I won't accept him for who he is - but that's not it. If he loved the work or the life, I could deal. HE refuses to accept himself for who he is; he is still posing - as a college student or a young man with great prospects ahead- talking glib, while living hand to mouth with no ambition, a dismal credit history and no plans for the future. He isn't owning it, he isn't even trying to grow, he isn't even taking small steps to get ahead; he is just meandering in circles and pretending to be someone else. That can't be good. He's pretending to himself even more than he is pretending to us and I'm scared for him.</p><p></p><p>And I mourn the loss of potential.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Signorina, post: 625512"] No, he doesn't have any student loans outstanding afaik. When he moved back home last year, he worked to pay off his outstanding balance with his former university so that they would release his transcripts so he could attend school in the fall. He paid them monthly & they seized his state tax refund (state school) until it was paid off. We paid for his fall semester at community college. Since he's now failed out of a state university and a community college, he isn't eligible for admittance anywhere & I don't think he is eligible for student loans. He was getting overdraft notices from his bank here in January & Feb - about the time he moved out -- until he changed his address. He spends it as quickly as he earns it which is sad bc he earns a decent wage, I think he earned close to 20k last year and he lived at home. He just has nothing to show for the past 4 years of his life. No transportation, no savings account, no long term employment plans, nada. It will catch up with him someday and I feel like he is running away from reality, buying time. That's what bothers me the most - I know it sounds like I won't accept him for who he is - but that's not it. If he loved the work or the life, I could deal. HE refuses to accept himself for who he is; he is still posing - as a college student or a young man with great prospects ahead- talking glib, while living hand to mouth with no ambition, a dismal credit history and no plans for the future. He isn't owning it, he isn't even trying to grow, he isn't even taking small steps to get ahead; he is just meandering in circles and pretending to be someone else. That can't be good. He's pretending to himself even more than he is pretending to us and I'm scared for him. And I mourn the loss of potential. [/QUOTE]
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Mini update, difficult child now living out of state
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