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Miserable Friday
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<blockquote data-quote="dayatatime" data-source="post: 623346" data-attributes="member: 17805"><p>Yep, yep, yep. I guess the one thing worse than it being so hard on us would be if it wasn't so hard on us- then we'd really be in trouble. These are my experiences: 1) it's easier to go the next day of a few days later and file paperwork than it is to call 911 at the time- for every time I have called when I needed to there were 10 that I didn't - I'm not quite a good at it as I sound. 2) But I am good at slipping into safety planning mode- Keep my phone right in my hand so I have the option to call- be sure shoes are near the door- sleep in clothes if things are really nutty- keep keys with a friend close by. Knowing that I can get away helps, or at least is a thing to focus my mind- the safety planning- when I can't think. 3) Having plans for what I will do next time. I ADORE plans. Because you're right. Suddenly you have thins critical moment and it is not a thinking spot. Know my own intensions. And make my intensions know to difficult child at a time when anger is not at play. Just calm. If A, then B. 4) The cops: where I live they mostly suck and mostly don't want to take me seriously and it's hard on me, emotionally. But now I'm in with the Domestic Violence cops- for the first couple years, somehow, my reports didn't attract there attention. But they are different. They now call regularly to check on me. Stop by to let difficult child know he's on the radar. They are nice to him, too. And, they arrested him when I finally chose that course of action. It was for breaking stuff around the house in a tantrum. I asked the regular cops to do so and they wouldn't. The arrest has been the most effective intervention to date- opened up levels of services that I couldn't have gotten without it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dayatatime, post: 623346, member: 17805"] Yep, yep, yep. I guess the one thing worse than it being so hard on us would be if it wasn't so hard on us- then we'd really be in trouble. These are my experiences: 1) it's easier to go the next day of a few days later and file paperwork than it is to call 911 at the time- for every time I have called when I needed to there were 10 that I didn't - I'm not quite a good at it as I sound. 2) But I am good at slipping into safety planning mode- Keep my phone right in my hand so I have the option to call- be sure shoes are near the door- sleep in clothes if things are really nutty- keep keys with a friend close by. Knowing that I can get away helps, or at least is a thing to focus my mind- the safety planning- when I can't think. 3) Having plans for what I will do next time. I ADORE plans. Because you're right. Suddenly you have thins critical moment and it is not a thinking spot. Know my own intensions. And make my intensions know to difficult child at a time when anger is not at play. Just calm. If A, then B. 4) The cops: where I live they mostly suck and mostly don't want to take me seriously and it's hard on me, emotionally. But now I'm in with the Domestic Violence cops- for the first couple years, somehow, my reports didn't attract there attention. But they are different. They now call regularly to check on me. Stop by to let difficult child know he's on the radar. They are nice to him, too. And, they arrested him when I finally chose that course of action. It was for breaking stuff around the house in a tantrum. I asked the regular cops to do so and they wouldn't. The arrest has been the most effective intervention to date- opened up levels of services that I couldn't have gotten without it. [/QUOTE]
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