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Miserable Friday
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<blockquote data-quote="dayatatime" data-source="post: 623347" data-attributes="member: 17805"><p>I wanted to comment on this too- because it sounds just like me.</p><p></p><p>This is the response of my Al-onon sponsor and therapist combined into a single voice, talking to me:</p><p></p><p>If you are angry, you angry. You don't have to act on the anger. Emotion and behavior are two totally different categories, but if you try and control the situation by not feeling what you feel, Day, that is not going to work. Pushing emotion away makes it grow. Sitting quietly and feeling it lets it pass. Prioritize your own self-care. Take a bath, take a walk, go out to eat my yourself, see a friend, do a pleasant event. It's fine to tell difficult child that you are upset and disappointed and you need time. It's even good for difficult child- good to model straightforward communication and good to model non-acting, good self-care when under stress. If difficult child chooses to act out, that is difficult child doing that behavior, not you. Your feelings don't cause difficult child's behavior. Your feelings don't even cause your own behavior. Your choice chooses your behavior. And if there is acting out, always: safety first.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dayatatime, post: 623347, member: 17805"] I wanted to comment on this too- because it sounds just like me. This is the response of my Al-onon sponsor and therapist combined into a single voice, talking to me: If you are angry, you angry. You don't have to act on the anger. Emotion and behavior are two totally different categories, but if you try and control the situation by not feeling what you feel, Day, that is not going to work. Pushing emotion away makes it grow. Sitting quietly and feeling it lets it pass. Prioritize your own self-care. Take a bath, take a walk, go out to eat my yourself, see a friend, do a pleasant event. It's fine to tell difficult child that you are upset and disappointed and you need time. It's even good for difficult child- good to model straightforward communication and good to model non-acting, good self-care when under stress. If difficult child chooses to act out, that is difficult child doing that behavior, not you. Your feelings don't cause difficult child's behavior. Your feelings don't even cause your own behavior. Your choice chooses your behavior. And if there is acting out, always: safety first. [/QUOTE]
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