Miss KT...interesting weekend, no medications...long vent

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by KTMom91, Sep 19, 2010.

  1. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    She got home on Thursday, having forgotten her medications at school. Had a dr appointment Friday, that she was PO'd about, because she no longer has just a co-pay. My mom paid for it. Didn't fill the prescription she got while she was here...don't know why. I passed along the site for medications that Susie put up not too long ago, but "it didn't tell me anything," and she didn't want me to help her navigate it. OK.

    Fri evening she came into the living room, talking about some sweatshirt she helped design, and now she'll be the only one in the dorm without one because she doesn't have any money. I reminded her that she gets an allowance of $300/mo from the educational trust, and told her that she needed to stop shopping as soon as the money goes in. No. It's not that. Explain it to me then, because your room and your food are already paid for, it's the middle of the month, why don't you have any money left? Things are more expensive up there. Well, Miss KT, maybe you shouldn't have quit your job...on campus...no nights or weekends...and she got up from the chair in a major huff, said FINE, MOM, and stomped out of the room. If someone gave ME $300/mo, free and clear, I'd be thrilled.

    She was very busy all weekend, seeing family and friends (not us so much), and by Sat evening, it was obvious she wasn't taking her medications. She went to church but came home almost immediately, and I found out later that in the course of her complaining, she was given a reality check that she didn't like. She took off about noon...and then, I started thinking.

    My mom and dad divorced when I was 15 and my brother was 12. My brother and I both started working at 16, and were both janitors, cleaning office complexes, while we went to college. I've always worked or gone to school full-time. Miss KT has never seen me sit and do nothing unless illness or injury prevented me from working. For the last ten years, Hubby has always worked and/or gone to school full-time. She hasn't lived with her father since she was 3, but the older she gets, the more I see his behaviors. That incredible sense of entitlement that used to make me want to smack him...HARD...I saw in her this weekend. She wasn't handed everything, like her father was (and still is). Why does she think we should start now?

    Just tired and frustrated...and no, I'm not giving her money for her sweatshirt, medications, or anything else. I worry though how many people she'll tick off now, because for her, no medications = no brakes, and she'll be running off at the mouth in record time. Sigh.
  2. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Hmm well Miss KT will just have to learn to live within her means. But hopefully she'll wise up and get back onto her medications.

    K only spent summers with us and the occasional holiday depending on who's turn it was. Certainly not enough time for husband's behavior/personality to rub off. Especially since he wasn't around most of the time. Yet unless she's done some dramatic changing I don't know about..........she's not only a female version of him in appearance......she's a carbon copy of his personality. Now husband had his mom coming to his rescue over every little and big thing. K didn't have such luxury.......and yet it is the same old story. Tis far better to claim to be sick and whine over how the world mistreats you than to get off your butt and do something about it. But in some ways she's worse because if husband is uncomfortable enough, he will do something about it. lol

  3. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Big Sigh and Big Hugs. Miss KT will have to learn in her own time and on her own terms. You're very good and strong not to give her money for anything. Part of growing up means learning how to live within our means and utilizing our income to the best and *wisest* or our ability. Hang in there.
  4. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Just keep reminding yourself that she is a work in progress. With you as a role model and your wise advise and your wise "shut" purse she may surprise you. I figure it's like alcoholism. You aren't cured with one day off the booze. You fall off the wagon and start over. Hopefully, she won't make the same mistakes over and over.
    We suggestion to difficult child that he take 1/2 the funds on the 1st of the month and the other 1/2 on the 15th to help him better space out his funds. Not sure this is any help. My difficult child hasn't got a clue but he really does have a huge hole where his math ability is.

    Good luck.