I posted a couple of months back that my father in law was dying - he passed away Monday, much longer than expected. Today was his funeral. difficult child doesn't know he passed or even that he was dying. There has been no contact but we recently received a b'day card addressed to easy child 1 - "Mommy is trying to get better, thinks about her every day" etc. wife tore up the card and never showed it to easy child 1 - is that wrong? I don't think so, difficult child's many broken promises of what she was going to do have done so much damage to easy child 1 and a few more could only do more harm in my opinion. So many pictures of my father in law have difficult child in them when she was little and during some of her sober periods, it was very hard on wife losing her dad and being reminded of in a sense losing difficult child as well.