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Missing my son
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 721219" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>You cant fix him, hon. He is a grown man, 31, who wont take his medications and has threatened to kill you. Do you miss him or the cute little boy he once was? Because he sounds dsngerous and unwilling to help himself.</p><p></p><p>You took care of him about twelve years too long. He is way past the age of needing a mommy to wipe his tears and bandage his knees. Refrain from the mommy role. You hurt yourself when you mother him like a child and hurt HIM even more. Yes, this HURTS him growing up, even if it makes YOU feel good. And, as you know, it does not work.</p><p></p><p>If you see himat all, pick a crowded place like a Starbucks. Dont let him home. Are others in your house he could also harm?</p><p></p><p>Do you really miss him as he is today? You know he is not fixed. He is not that cute little boy who gave you flowers. He is a different person, grown.</p><p></p><p>Think about who you miss...the man your son is today or a distant memory?</p><p></p><p>Please keep yourself safe.You are grieving the son he used to be. Please dont get into danger because of a memory. He needs to be back on medications and in therapy to maybe be safe...maybe. He needs to stop misplacing blame for his actions on you to be safe to you.</p><p></p><p>Enjoy your beloved ones who are kind to you. Enjoy nice friends. Keep Son at arms length and allow yourself to grieve for him.</p><p></p><p>Hopefully one day he will decide to change. His blaming you indicates no self awareness that HE is his biggest problem. They all blame us. Their personalities are such that they wont admit who is truly at fault. They all seem to want to point fingers at others. This is so very unhealthy.</p><p></p><p>Sending love, light, snd many prayers.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 721219, member: 1550"] You cant fix him, hon. He is a grown man, 31, who wont take his medications and has threatened to kill you. Do you miss him or the cute little boy he once was? Because he sounds dsngerous and unwilling to help himself. You took care of him about twelve years too long. He is way past the age of needing a mommy to wipe his tears and bandage his knees. Refrain from the mommy role. You hurt yourself when you mother him like a child and hurt HIM even more. Yes, this HURTS him growing up, even if it makes YOU feel good. And, as you know, it does not work. If you see himat all, pick a crowded place like a Starbucks. Dont let him home. Are others in your house he could also harm? Do you really miss him as he is today? You know he is not fixed. He is not that cute little boy who gave you flowers. He is a different person, grown. Think about who you miss...the man your son is today or a distant memory? Please keep yourself safe.You are grieving the son he used to be. Please dont get into danger because of a memory. He needs to be back on medications and in therapy to maybe be safe...maybe. He needs to stop misplacing blame for his actions on you to be safe to you. Enjoy your beloved ones who are kind to you. Enjoy nice friends. Keep Son at arms length and allow yourself to grieve for him. Hopefully one day he will decide to change. His blaming you indicates no self awareness that HE is his biggest problem. They all blame us. Their personalities are such that they wont admit who is truly at fault. They all seem to want to point fingers at others. This is so very unhealthy. Sending love, light, snd many prayers. [/QUOTE]
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