MOM, Can I ask you a question and you wont get mad???

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by buddy, Oct 4, 2011.

  1. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I posted a story about my difficult child last week when he thought he got his period. As I am learning this site, maybe this is a better place for this kind of thing but really, I dont have a lot of people to share this kind of thing with soooooo....thanks

    OK, when difficult child asked me if he could ask a question---and I couldn't get mad...I thought oh my...this does not sound good....but, I agreed.
    (I could see his eyes were not making good contact, but that happens-Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kid and all, it is where he was looking that was strange)

    difficult child: Ummm, can a girl sleep on her stomach?

    Me: Huh?

    difficult child: I mean, boys don't have to deal with those. (pointing to my boobs)

    Me: yes, they can. It just depends on the person and if they feel comfortable.

    difficult child: Well, do they just grow and grow forever?

    (I'm sure he is referring to how gravity has taken over)

    Me: Sigh. (I did answer but, really hard not to laugh while I did it.)

    A few months ago he asked if all boys have to like boobs. He said he heard they do on TV! And I LOCK all inappropriate channels. (may have not been said that way, may just have been kids looking and making silly faces or not even tv. YOu never know with him) He said the name of a Nickelodian show. He doesn't really get it yet but he is obviously noticing...Oh puberty from an Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) perspective.

  2. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    I'm sure there are plenty of boys his age with questions on development, their own and that of girls. He doesn't want to ask other boys because, well, boys are boys. They'll lie or pass along info they believe is correct, maybe even make fun of him for not knowing (even though most of them don't know any more than he does). At least he does feel comfortable enough with you to ask and get the correct info, that's a good thing. Considering some of the Nick shows that are geared towards older kids and tweens, I wouldn't be surprised if he did see something there, even if it wasn't that specific it could enough to rouse his curiosity.
  3. keista

    keista New Member

    I agree with Haozi, and your son sounds so sweet and cute!

    I think it's time to teach him about the birds and the bees. There must be resources out there that would be more appropriate for him and his developmental level. And I understand having him Google is not an option, but you can do it and bookmark the sites you liked, and then show him in a followup conversation.

    And yes, Many of these Nick and Disney shows have gotten pretty sophisticated, and they go a tad farther than subtle innuendo. So he'll be picking up more and more from there
  4. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Oh Heaven help

    We are teaching him the birds and bees, just at an adjusted level. He also gets social skills on specific things like what he can and can't say to girls, etc. It s a process for sure.
  5. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oh, he's so cute!
    Reminds me of a really bad joke I heard yrs ago, about a husband and wife who were granted a wish from a fairy. It had something to do with-boobs, and I don't recall the whole thing, but the punchline was, "No,no, a thousand times no!" Of course, that meant that the woman grew to a thousand times her normal size...
    I can see he is chatting with-friends and seeing things on TV, yes, even Nickelodeon ... and you may want to buy him a book. When we went looking for age appropriate books, it was so hard! They were either totally juvenile or very adult. It took weeks to find something for the right age group.
    I remember my son wondering which body part babies came from. I told him and of course he was grossed out. One day he said he heard that some women get cut open to have babies. I said yes, sometimes people get C-sections and their abdomens are cut. His eyes got huge and he was appalled. "Cut open? CUT?" Poor kid. I told him you get anesthesia and that the cut isn't really that big. And you get stitches. But he took forever to get over that one.
    by the way, when he gets older, he sounds like the type to show you when he is changing, so expect that. Armpits, p*b*c hair ... it's quite endearing, really.

    Very good that you are teaching him social skills in regard to what to say to girls.
    I have done that with-my son but the girls at school--OMG! They are so aggressive! He learned more sex words in Spanish last yr that I even knew in English!!! I asked if the girls (specifically, his girlfriend, even though they never actually dated) said things to his face and he said no, they gathered together and giggled and spoke loudly on purpose so he could hear. And they texted a few things. Ugh. Sexting.
  6. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    P.S. This is the all-time classic line from a kid to a mom: MOM, Can I ask you a question and you wont get mad???

  7. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Oh yes, that has all started and he shows it all. He is finally learning some modesty at least when Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) workers are over he usually goes to the rest room to change.

    All the baby talk reminded me that he had a crush on a girl last year in the next door EBD class. She was used to be a peer reward to him (she loves to help other kids) and she would say to him, you are not talking nice to me so I am going to go now..etc. He learned a lot.

    BUT, one boy in his Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) class said....THAT means you want to have sex with her.... So difficult child started saying it. (he doesn't know how to sneak what he says so adults dont hear...that's good and bad) OF course he got in trouble and I did remind them that he doesn't really know what "sex" is.

    So when he got home I asked him (to see how much I needed to fill in) what do you think sex is anyway?
    He said, "I know mom"
    I said ok what?
    he said, "like on tv when there is kissing"

    I said, well, there is a little more to it than that. (Now remember, I have to be careful because he will NOT censor what he says at school or with other kids so....)

    I decided to play the straight Catholic party line and I said, It is when a mom and dad are married and they decide to make a baby.

    His eyes got HUGE....He shook his head....."THAT is not what I want to do!"

    He hasn't said anything about sex since, and I am still procrastinating about the details. Info on an as needed basis because of his brain with NO BRAKES
  8. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    For a cpl yrs, my son got into Internet porn. He never connected it with-making babies until I told him, and he was totally shocked. (About as shocked as I was when I first saw the images on MY computer!!)
  9. buddy

    buddy New Member

    You know, I was at a friend's house (her only son has Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) and severe behaviors too,,,,,a foot and a half taller than mine but younger) we borrowed his computer because hers wasn't working and she needed to get a link for me...

    AND what do you know???? of course the history showed he had found porn. It was easy to trace too... Seems he had done a search for something really innocent but then search results, pop ups whatever had lead him to the porn and of course he naturally kept going on it.

    I have my son's computer all parent protected, I get every addy he goes to so I am sure I will find something some day. My sister found that her 5th grade son looked "boobs" up on his ipod. crazy kids....
  10. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Normal more like it, lol.

    Your son sounds so innocent and cute, you're doing great in responding. A couple of people mentioned maybe trying books - have you looked into that? There must be something out there that would be appropriate for his level. Best of luck.
  11. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Your son sounds so innocent and cute, you're doing great in responding. A couple of people mentioned maybe trying books - have you looked into that? There must be something out there that would be appropriate for his level. Best of luck.

    yes, have been looking. I think we need to break it down a little more than the books I have checked out at the book stores though. too much information all at one time. But I think they will be a good guide for each topic as it we address each one. I did find a few that seemed to have some good ways to explain that I think he will understand. We also do just individual topics (changing bodies, etc. That is how he knew the words when he thought he had his period....saying it had to be because it is MENstruation etc. For some reason the word ovulation has stuck too.... HE is kind of interesting.
  12. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member will find this amusing I think. I have two funny Cory stories. Well, I have tons but I wont post them all. LOL.

    First one. Jamie is two years older than Cory so he obviously went through puberty first. We are a pretty immodest family and the boys tended to run around half naked in the house like after showers or getting ready for bed. Well when Jamie went through puberty it became rather obvious. Cory was livid! He threw one heck of a fit because he couldnt go through puberty too and we had to let He wanted us to make him...right this very minute! LOL

    Second story....may have been about a year before the above story. I was cleaning up the kitchen and living room on a normal Saturday. I think he was about 10. I knew he had gone down the hall to my bathroom but thought nothing of it, the kids used my bathroom all the time. Suddenly I hear him scream "MOM!" Then another louder scream.... "MOM..Come here Mom...momma come here come here come here now!"

    I run down into the bathroom expecting some sort of catastrophe in my bathroom and there sits Cory on the throne holding a tampon box reading the side of it and asks me "Do you think I could have Toxic Shock Syndrome?"
  13. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

  14. buddy

    buddy New Member

    oh my that is tooooo funny. I love that. maybe we need a forum for these kinds of stories. I actually laughed after crying (again...I really feel hormonal the past two days, my poor boy). Really helps to laugh at it all.
  15. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Okay, guys CAN get toxic shock but not from tampons. That is precious!!!

    For some reason the word ovulation has stuck too.... HE is kind of interesting.

    So, I don't suppose you want to educate him on the origin of the word "Easter"? aka "Oestre," or "Eostre"--also the root of the female hormone estrogen.

  16. Ktllc

    Ktllc New Member

    :bravo:OMG! that thread is sooo funny!

    Buddy, you might want to check out "It's not the stork!". It is geared to a younger age group but it also is quite technical with ALL the anatomical right words. But nothing that he cannot repeat.
    I got it after V had so much curiosity about private parts.
    We are quite an open family, but I did draw a line when I gave birth to my daughter at home. I asked the boys to stay out of the bedroom until the baby was out.
    That are still mad at me! LOL. My oldest said "I wanted to see A. come out of the little hole":sigh:
  17. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Great! I will check out that book. You guys are funny.
  18. keista

    keista New Member

    Oh no he doesn't!
  19. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I know grown men and women who dont want to see I know when the doctor asked me if I wanted a mirror brought in with Jamie so I could watch I thought she had lost her marbles! As Cory so eloquently asked, "does it go back down in size?" We let him walk around for 2 days thinking his life was over as he new it but we couldnt keep it up.