Mom needs help with detaching from son

recoveringenabler

Well-Known Member
Staff member
This is very difficult to deal with.........for each and every one of us.............and yet.......we can't make another person make different choices, we can't change them, we can't heal them or make them see any kind of a light.........we are powerless and that is very difficult to understand and take in when it is your own child. But, we are powerless. We have no control whatsoever over a 26 year old who chooses to be homeless.

I am so sorry Luane, I do understand how you feel. It helped me to place my daughter in the hands of my perception of a Higher Power. It helped me to recite the Serenity Prayer. It helped me to pray. It helps to walk or do something physical, within 11 minutes your brain recalibrates. Meditation helps. A bath helps. Talking to a supportive friend, journaling, crying and allowing yourself to feel it helps. Reading books and listening to mediative visualizations helps(you can access some on Youtube)

We all have our own "tool box" of things which help us cope when the feelings overwhelm us. Develop your tool box so you can utilize it when you feel the way you do right now. Allowing yourself to feel the sadness and the fear, even though we really want to run away from those feelings, really helps. If you "break down" and allow the feelings, you will be surprised at how quickly they dissipate. They don't disappear, but they become neutralized for awhile, allowing you to move ahead and live your life while this is going on with your son. There is a lot of grief involved in this for us.........and grief needs an outlet, we need to feel it and let it go..........in time, the grief lessens and the grey begins to turn back in to colors.............it takes time Luane, it's a process..........it's very much like the 5 stages of grief........denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

Stay close to the board Luane, it helps a lot to know others are there with you..........
 

luane

New Member
Thank you so much, both of you.

I posted again as a new thread, as suggested, by the way.

I hope you both realize how much it means to someone like me to have you take the time out of your lives to answer these posts in such a caring, helpful, wise way. Thanks for being there. I will think carefully about your wise responses.
 
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