mom of 5-year old girl with uncontrollable behavior issues

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by kata, Aug 11, 2011.

  1. kata

    kata New Member

    Aloha from Hawaii: I am a mother of three children (20, 10, and 5). Like many out there, I have 2 normal children that have typical growing issues, but nothing a good talking can take care of. My 5-year old however, have been giving me thoughts of getting her tested from a very young age, perhaps as young as 2 or 3. She has always been "naughty" as we thought, but as a mom, I see her as "different" and not sure exactly why she chooses to do the things she does or why she just doesn't listen to what I tell her. I've had many, many endless talks with her where she completely takes me to the ends of my rope with her endless "I don't know, I don't know, I don't know" replies to everything.
    As a preschooler, she had no problem. I took her to school and she enjoyed being there; of course she had the typical issues of talking out of turn and so forth, but for the first time, I felt like things were on a "normal" path. This year, she is in Kindergarten and she has made all of our lives absolutely crazy! I have high blood pressure and fight (I mean literally fight) with her each and every morning and its the same thing everyday! I took her to school this morning and as we neared the corner of her classroom, she starts screaming and crying hysterically. I take her backpack from her and explain to her that if she chooses to cry out like that, she will draw attention to herself and it will start her day off in an even worse way. As I walk into her classroom (to put her backpack down), she starts yelling and screaming while all her classmates stare at her. Her teacher takes her from me and tells me to leave. As I release her hands off of my blouse, she continues screaming and yelling all the while her teacher is scolding her to stop crying and that she will be okay if she just stops crying.
    I KNOW something is going on with her and more and more, as I surf the internet on behavior issues in young children, I see that a majority of the bullets under symptoms or signs of behavior impulsivity is what my dear daughter is experiencing and taking us along for the ride.
    Can someone please lead me in the right direction, as a new mother experiencing such a journey? I know there resources here, but I need someone to tell me step by step what to do and how to take each step. Is that possible?
  2. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    If she hasn't already been evaluated by anyone, I would start there. A Child Psychiatrist would be able to do some assessments to help figure things out. Another option along the same lines is a neuropsychiatrist/neuropsychologist. They do intensive assessments and do a more thorough job. You might also check into an Occupational Therapy eveluation. If she has ANY sensory issues, they would be able to pinpoint what they are and give you ideas on how to help her. These are just suggestions based on what I have done.

    You have come to the right place. There is SO much experience on this board as well as many broad shoulders to help carry the burden, so to speak. Welcome to our little (but growing) corner of the world. Stick with us and you will learn a lot.
  3. keista

    keista New Member

    Welcome to the board.

    I'd say your 'mom gut' is right on the money - your daughter IS different. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

    Have you talked to her teacher about these issues? Is the teacher aware that she completed a whole year of school without such tantrums and this is 'new' behavior? (If this was her first year, up to two weeks of this would be considered 'normal') If the teacher has ANY concerns at all ask for a referral for an evaluation.

    Have you discussed any of your daughter's issues with her pediatrician? You can ask for a referral there as well to get psychological/behavioral referrals.

    ADHD, Sensory integration disorder, Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) not otherwise specified, Anxiety, mood disorder are some of the most common issues diagnosed at early ages. Often, there's more than one thing going on at once, so getting a GOOD evaluation/s is key. For some of these, the schools are capable of doing preliminary evaluations. For other, the schools don't *think* they affect learning enough to concern themselves with them. (UHG that's my own personal gripe!)

    Welcome again. :notalone:
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I would take her to a neuropsychologist evaluation. They do extensive 6-10 hours of testing in all areas. You always knew she was different and now you can have her tested to see why and to find out how to help her.

    Was her development normal? Did she speak on time, make good eye contact, transition well from one activity to another, relate well to her same age peers? Any quirks, obsessions, or motor skills issues? The problem with difficult child's is that you CAN'T make them behave like "typical" kids by insisting they do or by talking to them. You really do need to find out what is wrong and learn how to parent them, depending on what is wrong. Many kids need outside interventions.

    Good luck and keep us posted!
  5. Free Kittens

    Free Kittens New Member

    Hi Kata,

    Welcome aboard. Absolutely follow that mamma intuition!

    Free Kittens