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Mom of son with- suicide rap: new post-new question
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<blockquote data-quote="Nancy" data-source="post: 35722" data-attributes="member: 59"><p>Oh I can so relate. It was two years ago when I took the computer out of the kitchen and put it in our bedroom, password protected it, and allowed her on only when I was there to supervise. That is where the computer still is although just last month I hooked up our old one in the rec room in the basement, password protected it and let her on at times when her homework is done or she has friends over. I have spyware on all the computers and I know her passwords to email and myspace and I check regularly.</p><p></p><p>I would never under any circumstances allow her to have a computer in her room.</p><p></p><p>I refused to live in fear in my own home of what my difficult child would do if I instituted rules she didn't like. That's not to say I was never afraid because I was, but I didn't let it stop me from making decisions that I thought were in her best interest. That included deleting two myspaces that she created because she was inviting people she didn't know to be her friends and deleting her buddy list on several occassions.</p><p></p><p>She did not get a cell phone until this past June when she turned 15, and then it was with the understanding that it would be disconnected at the first sign of misuse. We had tried to give her one the year before and took it away when she used it all hours of the night and lied about where she was.</p><p></p><p>My difficult child would hit her sister also so we were literally prisoners in our own home so we could protect her. We did not go anywhere for several years because we couldn't leave them home alone. My easy child knew to call the police if she was ever alone with difficult child and felt afraid.</p><p></p><p>It sucks, it's no way to live, but we did it and eventually we are now at the point where she has built up enough trust so we can go out socially and trust she will be OK. But you know that didn;t happen until she went to detention and crawled her way back to a decent life. </p><p></p><p>If your son is under the care of a psychiatrist I would follow his guidance and let him assess your son's depression. My difficult child tried to use self harm several times to get what she wanted. I was lucky we had a good therapist who was able to tell me she was not a threat. Of course we have to take their threats seriously but don't let him think he can use that against you or to get his way.</p><p></p><p>Nancy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nancy, post: 35722, member: 59"] Oh I can so relate. It was two years ago when I took the computer out of the kitchen and put it in our bedroom, password protected it, and allowed her on only when I was there to supervise. That is where the computer still is although just last month I hooked up our old one in the rec room in the basement, password protected it and let her on at times when her homework is done or she has friends over. I have spyware on all the computers and I know her passwords to email and myspace and I check regularly. I would never under any circumstances allow her to have a computer in her room. I refused to live in fear in my own home of what my difficult child would do if I instituted rules she didn't like. That's not to say I was never afraid because I was, but I didn't let it stop me from making decisions that I thought were in her best interest. That included deleting two myspaces that she created because she was inviting people she didn't know to be her friends and deleting her buddy list on several occassions. She did not get a cell phone until this past June when she turned 15, and then it was with the understanding that it would be disconnected at the first sign of misuse. We had tried to give her one the year before and took it away when she used it all hours of the night and lied about where she was. My difficult child would hit her sister also so we were literally prisoners in our own home so we could protect her. We did not go anywhere for several years because we couldn't leave them home alone. My easy child knew to call the police if she was ever alone with difficult child and felt afraid. It sucks, it's no way to live, but we did it and eventually we are now at the point where she has built up enough trust so we can go out socially and trust she will be OK. But you know that didn;t happen until she went to detention and crawled her way back to a decent life. If your son is under the care of a psychiatrist I would follow his guidance and let him assess your son's depression. My difficult child tried to use self harm several times to get what she wanted. I was lucky we had a good therapist who was able to tell me she was not a threat. Of course we have to take their threats seriously but don't let him think he can use that against you or to get his way. Nancy [/QUOTE]
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