OK... long night. K has been horrible for months, if you have been keeping track. Her delusions have gotten so much worse in the past few months. I am trying to keep separate the new addition of Depakote and her "normal" behaviors!!! But, husband left for a week on Monday... she had only been doing OK for a couple of days, maybe a week max. So last night she is very heightened, GIDDY... annoying to the point of scary mania. "Mommy I can see the fairies crawling all over you" TEE HEE... I was semi sick to my stomach by the time I got her to bed. She was this way prior to starting the Depakote. Last night she tells me that since being in Tucson, she has now been seeing her "fairies" during the day and all of the time. This was part of my major drag last night, very unnerving all around. So today she has been on edge, she has been complaining a bit about upset stomach. But not too bad. Just kind of Blah. But very manic-like... weird. Lots of giggling. She was violent with me for over an hour and a half. Over all of us cleaning some stuff up and not watching more TV after we watched a movie. I am trying to go very easy on her. Due to the new medication and instability. She just lost it and started attacking me. N was so scared, (she also jumped on N's back last night? I didn't get the whole story, but scared N bad!) I ended up getting N in the bath, restraining K... she got giggly. Was OK. N out of the bath. Can't even remember what triggered her again, she attacked me again... I finally had to hold her face and look her in the eye, yell, "You will not hurt me any more!" and push her to the floor as I walked away. She was just throwing herself on me and laughing, hitting, spitting. I was trying to get N dressed, she was still in a towel. So she is crying how I hurt her, but calmer, in her room. I call husband to let him know what happened and so he can say good night to N. K comes out sobbing about how hurt she is, talks to husband. She sinks to her low now. Lays on me and is just a heap... I have to have them sleep in my bed AGAIN... we are lying there and she says, "Mom, shh, I have a secret, we are Super Heroes"! "You have to keep it a, tee-hee, secret, don't talk to anyone, but we, hee-hee, have powers" So I go on to ask her what she means? Because she will not stop. "I am HEALTHY GIRL!" she says... I am trying not to laugh... I ask her why? She says because I try to eat healthy... OK. I said well what powers do you have? She said, "I am trying to help the human race be healthier!" She said she is trying to figure out what color costume to wear!!! After all of that and such a crappy night and everything being so on edge for her, she goes and says something like this... she blows me away sometimes. You know tonight was one of those nights were I thought about how she might need Hospitalization. But here in Idaho where we are. There is NO where to put her... I want to give the Depakote a chance. But man somedays you just ask yourself, When is someone gonna make the miracle medication??? Or a cure? I am not even angry about the violence, I am just sad for her. And N. Oh I asked her what powers I had? She said, "Well what do you enjoy?" I said, "A good night's sleep!" She said, "Well that is your power, to help people sleep!"