"Mom, that Dad is behaving like I sometimes do......."

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Andy, Dec 9, 2011.

  1. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    We were at the bowling alley tonight (where else are we ever? LOL!). A few lanes down, a dad was getting very frustrated at his very young (5 year old?) son for not being perfect while bowling. His anger was affecting his own bowling and he himself wasn't doing much better than his son. difficult child was observing this and feeling bad for the little boy who was really doing well for his age and most likely a beginner bowler. He came up to me and said, "Mom, Do you see how that dad over there is treating his son? And the dad behaves like I do when I am not doing well! The dad got a gutter ball and said something that was just like I would say if I was mad at my own bowling." Both our hearts went out to the boy. I am so surprised he wasn't in tears as his dad's expectations were so impossible for him.

    I hope that this has gotten difficult child to thinking about how he makes others feel when he is being unreasonably frustrated on the lanes. The dad was quiet about it but difficult child picked up on it quickly 4 lanes away. difficult child is usually not so subtle and I would assume the entire alley can pick up on his ugliness in he enters that mood. That ugly circle of not doing well, getting upset because you are not doing well, doing worse because you are angry, getting angrier because you are doing worse yet.

    Sometimes seeing it in others makes more sense than all the words heard from Mom!
  2. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Absolutely! That is awesome. A big pat on the back for your difficult child!
  3. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    WOW! Don't you just love "teaching" situations like that. It was great the difficult child was able to notice it and make that connection. That is AWESOME!!
  4. buddy

    buddy New Member

  5. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    Hope it works. Most times mine can see it in others but when it comes time to change their behavior they still aren't there yet.
  6. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Very true Liahona! :)

    Today we had an opportunity to see how it did work. He of course was not going to admit he was in the wrong so when I brought up the comparision of his behavior today and the dad's last night, he just said, "I just thought it was ironic." I asked him if he remembered how he felt last night to set him up to maybe see how I feel along with everyone else around when he behaves like that. However, he is a thinker - it will give him food for thought and some day, just maybe, it will make sense to him one little step at a time. All I can do is try to cash in on the times that I can give him such food for thought even though he throws it back in my face telling me I am stupid to think that way.

    So frustrating when certain lessons take forever to learn. But gotta love the few light bulb moments along the way no matter how short lived the light beam!

    It was a step to just admit that he has that behavior - he usually would deny it.