We were at the bowling alley tonight (where else are we ever? LOL!). A few lanes down, a dad was getting very frustrated at his very young (5 year old?) son for not being perfect while bowling. His anger was affecting his own bowling and he himself wasn't doing much better than his son. difficult child was observing this and feeling bad for the little boy who was really doing well for his age and most likely a beginner bowler. He came up to me and said, "Mom, Do you see how that dad over there is treating his son? And the dad behaves like I do when I am not doing well! The dad got a gutter ball and said something that was just like I would say if I was mad at my own bowling." Both our hearts went out to the boy. I am so surprised he wasn't in tears as his dad's expectations were so impossible for him.
I hope that this has gotten difficult child to thinking about how he makes others feel when he is being unreasonably frustrated on the lanes. The dad was quiet about it but difficult child picked up on it quickly 4 lanes away. difficult child is usually not so subtle and I would assume the entire alley can pick up on his ugliness in he enters that mood. That ugly circle of not doing well, getting upset because you are not doing well, doing worse because you are angry, getting angrier because you are doing worse yet.
Sometimes seeing it in others makes more sense than all the words heard from Mom!
I hope that this has gotten difficult child to thinking about how he makes others feel when he is being unreasonably frustrated on the lanes. The dad was quiet about it but difficult child picked up on it quickly 4 lanes away. difficult child is usually not so subtle and I would assume the entire alley can pick up on his ugliness in he enters that mood. That ugly circle of not doing well, getting upset because you are not doing well, doing worse because you are angry, getting angrier because you are doing worse yet.
Sometimes seeing it in others makes more sense than all the words heard from Mom!