I am overwhelmed today with all the things that need my time and attention that are not helping me, personally, to get anywhere that adds comfort or interest to my life. The difficult child stuff, the intensive home therapy, and now the meetings to "help the school learn what to do" and the fact my car needs work and registration and the yard needs work and I have this huge pile of green waste that has to be moved....and meanwhile I need chiropractic and time to strengthen after so that I am not in this constant pain syndrome. Limitations are one issue and the fact that in this equation I am completely overlooked. My family and my sons father have reentered my life and I regret it. They both (as ever) want me to travel to them and visit with my son and as much as my son thinks that would be great to do the fact is I have to be on hand as the adult as they will not care for him in a safe manner. They do not care for me in a safe manner. And causing myself any more stressors to accomidate them is not working for me. Which means that I also have their 'wishes' as these expectations that I simply am not appropriate to call upon to match. I need to go to a dentist. This will not occur anytime soon either. I need glasses and these will not be possible anytime soon either. I have asked for help on practical matters and no one is there for me. NO one. This morning I recieve a phone call and what is this? Will I help by driving and spend my time today matching others needs? I said no. Like I said I am overwhelmed right now. The living with pain and limitation and the poverty and the fact that no one gives a whoot and all the things that are needed fall on my shoulders is old and stale and I am a person with the right to life too. Right to life liberty, pursute of happiness and the system that lets women slip through the cracks and fails to link to services after ruining her physically to gain profits for corporations is just same old same old and it stinks. I have had it with the paultry attention where my problems are just not understood. That is untrue. Nothing nothing I am facing is unique to the history that preceeds my life now. In fact it is exactly this outcome that the large corporations have earned bank on and do to this second. The resources that are squired away so that a tiny tiny part of the population has billions hoarded are those who would wipe their shoes on the misery of the "little people" that society minimizes and makes into jinggles to mentally, physically and socially create a seperation, distance and to look to as other. Because the econmy is tanking so hard...and why? because the last thirty plus years corporations failed to change with new information chosing instead to pursue megaprofits for themselves. They let people spend the future earnings in credit, and created a system for generating wealth for themselves off the interest pay of money that exists only in contracts. And when some person in poverty is linked to such with a cell phone or any other corporation (like a lawyer, or a practioner) when that "thing" or "service" does not work it is the legal connection to the money that the contract has aquired that in reality does not exist that is the priority. It is pure insanity. The property damage and physical injuries I have sustained personally that corporations recieved pay to "cover" even the laws that are in place in the state itsself do not "make whole" the vehicle or the body that belong to me. Instead the vulltures are lined up to gleen their part of the finacial pie while the people themsselves are stepping on or around the damage and cost to the indivigule (or me, or you). It is a sickness of greed. Today I want to sit here and be at ease to communicate typing. tough luck for me. I want to do my household chores and I am well aware that these simple tasks will cause me more pain. I am so frustrated and hurting and alone with these things and what is the solution? To live with it. To suffer it. To know that I pick my battles and suffer the tright leveled at me by others when again I do attempt to generate the care for my son at school, and to do it anyway and be pleasant and to be forgiving in my heart when the reactive emtions and the evasions just keep on coming from the teachers and the conselors and the principle and the 504 specialist. They ask me what to do for the adhd learner and they fail again to inquire and to act with the education and sences they do have and fall back on the excuses that keep them cozy. Bh. i am so sour today.