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Family of Origin
Money for grandchild college & questions
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 684480" data-attributes="member: 4152"><p>Something I think Insane said...I'm sorry there was so much good info. here, I lost track of who said it. It stuck with me.</p><p></p><p>Can stuff from our FOO influence us today? And of course the main concern would be if it had a negative influence.</p><p></p><p>I mentioned that my narcissist father was both physically and mentally abusive. And of course was a strict disciplinarian...this is an understatement.</p><p></p><p>I was kind of strict...I relied a LOT on time outs. </p><p></p><p>But our son and daughter in law, are not strict. They mostly just speak firmly to our grandson when he misbehaves. Sometimes, they will withhold a video. Very very rarely will they give a time out.</p><p></p><p>I think I need to have faith that since they are the parents they know what they are doing. A time out every five minutes is probably unproductive.</p><p></p><p>I'm trying to open my heart and mind to a different way of thinking...without giving up my intellect...just being open.</p><p></p><p>My parents, particularly my father was cruel and abusive.</p><p></p><p>I was strict and often authoritative.</p><p></p><p>They are something different. I wish to be open minded. I think what I'm observing is absolutely FINE, although my knee jerk reaction was concern. Concern they aren't being strict enough. I thought to myself the other day "why do you think this?" Then it hit me it could be left over junk from my FOO! Hmmm.</p><p></p><p>I wish to keep an open mind....and I feel peace. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p>Hope this makes sense.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 684480, member: 4152"] Something I think Insane said...I'm sorry there was so much good info. here, I lost track of who said it. It stuck with me. Can stuff from our FOO influence us today? And of course the main concern would be if it had a negative influence. I mentioned that my narcissist father was both physically and mentally abusive. And of course was a strict disciplinarian...this is an understatement. I was kind of strict...I relied a LOT on time outs. But our son and daughter in law, are not strict. They mostly just speak firmly to our grandson when he misbehaves. Sometimes, they will withhold a video. Very very rarely will they give a time out. I think I need to have faith that since they are the parents they know what they are doing. A time out every five minutes is probably unproductive. I'm trying to open my heart and mind to a different way of thinking...without giving up my intellect...just being open. My parents, particularly my father was cruel and abusive. I was strict and often authoritative. They are something different. I wish to be open minded. I think what I'm observing is absolutely FINE, although my knee jerk reaction was concern. Concern they aren't being strict enough. I thought to myself the other day "why do you think this?" Then it hit me it could be left over junk from my FOO! Hmmm. I wish to keep an open mind....and I feel peace. :) Hope this makes sense. [/QUOTE]
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