Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Money lost...trust broken
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 726434" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>The concepts of the book worked with my son. Even with the Aspie obsessions, if they get to be overwhelming, sometimes they need to be taken away. I am the child of an Aspie, I am probably an Aspie (females present differently), and I raised one. The removal of the obsession creates a longer period where the child longs for the item and wants it back, but it is a good thing. Sometimes you have to do this when that obsession interferes with life to the point that basic functions of life are not happening or when criminal behavior happens to facilitate the obsession.</p><p></p><p>Only you can determine what is right for your child. Letting your child keep this from his therapist with blackmail (I won't ever go back if you tell my therapist this) is setting a HORRIBLE precedent!! His therapist NEEDS to know this and needs to know it NOW. In fact, your child needs to be the one to tell the therapist this.</p><p></p><p>Why does the therapist need to know this? Because it is a major escalation in the level of the obsession. Taking your card and using it would be a fairly major escalation, to use it to the level of $3000 is an enormous escalation the way Mt. Everest is just a hill. Not telling the therapist about this, especially when the therapist is especially equipped to handle these things, is a mistake. It is like going to see an orthopedic surgeon but not telling him that you have a broken bone with the bone sticking out and wearing loose bulky clothes so the doctor won't see it. Why bother going to the doctor at all? You are wasting the doctor's time, your time, and your money. </p><p></p><p>Sometimes you have to go ahead and tell doctors things the kids don't want you to tell. Then you have to make them go to therapy anyway. I do know how hard this is. I truly do. I also know how hard it can be to get an Aspie to do what he does not want to. You have to make doing what is in his best interest, what he needs, more important than his calmness or happiness or anger. You don't want to do things out of anger, but you do have to do things so that he learns that he cannot do what he wants just because it is part of his obsessive interest. </p><p></p><p>Trust me, the courts won't care one bit that he has Asperger's. It won't make him unfit to stand trial. He still knew it was wrong. That is all they will care about. If stealing isn't a big deal, especially stealing on this level, he will continue to do it. He will have been TAUGHT that it isn't a big deal and that he only gets minor punishments. No one in jail will care that he has Asperger's. They will treat him just like anyone else. He needs to learn this lesson right now or you will have problems for quite some time.</p><p></p><p>Remember, in most of the US, at age 14 they can be tried as an adult for almost any felony.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 726434, member: 1233"] The concepts of the book worked with my son. Even with the Aspie obsessions, if they get to be overwhelming, sometimes they need to be taken away. I am the child of an Aspie, I am probably an Aspie (females present differently), and I raised one. The removal of the obsession creates a longer period where the child longs for the item and wants it back, but it is a good thing. Sometimes you have to do this when that obsession interferes with life to the point that basic functions of life are not happening or when criminal behavior happens to facilitate the obsession. Only you can determine what is right for your child. Letting your child keep this from his therapist with blackmail (I won't ever go back if you tell my therapist this) is setting a HORRIBLE precedent!! His therapist NEEDS to know this and needs to know it NOW. In fact, your child needs to be the one to tell the therapist this. Why does the therapist need to know this? Because it is a major escalation in the level of the obsession. Taking your card and using it would be a fairly major escalation, to use it to the level of $3000 is an enormous escalation the way Mt. Everest is just a hill. Not telling the therapist about this, especially when the therapist is especially equipped to handle these things, is a mistake. It is like going to see an orthopedic surgeon but not telling him that you have a broken bone with the bone sticking out and wearing loose bulky clothes so the doctor won't see it. Why bother going to the doctor at all? You are wasting the doctor's time, your time, and your money. Sometimes you have to go ahead and tell doctors things the kids don't want you to tell. Then you have to make them go to therapy anyway. I do know how hard this is. I truly do. I also know how hard it can be to get an Aspie to do what he does not want to. You have to make doing what is in his best interest, what he needs, more important than his calmness or happiness or anger. You don't want to do things out of anger, but you do have to do things so that he learns that he cannot do what he wants just because it is part of his obsessive interest. Trust me, the courts won't care one bit that he has Asperger's. It won't make him unfit to stand trial. He still knew it was wrong. That is all they will care about. If stealing isn't a big deal, especially stealing on this level, he will continue to do it. He will have been TAUGHT that it isn't a big deal and that he only gets minor punishments. No one in jail will care that he has Asperger's. They will treat him just like anyone else. He needs to learn this lesson right now or you will have problems for quite some time. Remember, in most of the US, at age 14 they can be tried as an adult for almost any felony. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Money lost...trust broken
Top