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Money vs. Conversation with difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 623190" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>I think we probably all enabled our kids to one extent or the other for various reasons...and I think sometimes stopping is a process that you can take one step at a time. It doesn't have to be all or nothing.</p><p></p><p>For me I try to think about what feels comfortable to me. What am I ok with....and am I doing it because I want to and it makes me feel good in some way or am I doing it because of pressure from my difficult child and wanting to avoid a conflict with him?</p><p></p><p>So when my son is not in treatment I do not give him any money. I have gotten him groceries, and I got him. Sleeping bag and boots when he was homeless....he was a couple of thousand miles away at the time so I went to a store we could both go to so I could pay at one end and he could pick it up at the other end.</p><p></p><p>He is currently in a long term residential program and is not yet at a level where he can work so I am buying him cigarettes and giving him money for bus fare and a coffee...but if he leaches tx that will stop.</p><p></p><p>So my feeling is if it would make you feel better to give your son some food that is ok....but give him food and not cash. Same with cigarettes or anything else.</p><p></p><p>Is your son working and helping with his expenses?</p><p></p><p>TL</p><p></p><p></p><p>Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 623190, member: 15801"] I think we probably all enabled our kids to one extent or the other for various reasons...and I think sometimes stopping is a process that you can take one step at a time. It doesn't have to be all or nothing. For me I try to think about what feels comfortable to me. What am I ok with....and am I doing it because I want to and it makes me feel good in some way or am I doing it because of pressure from my difficult child and wanting to avoid a conflict with him? So when my son is not in treatment I do not give him any money. I have gotten him groceries, and I got him. Sleeping bag and boots when he was homeless....he was a couple of thousand miles away at the time so I went to a store we could both go to so I could pay at one end and he could pick it up at the other end. He is currently in a long term residential program and is not yet at a level where he can work so I am buying him cigarettes and giving him money for bus fare and a coffee...but if he leaches tx that will stop. So my feeling is if it would make you feel better to give your son some food that is ok....but give him food and not cash. Same with cigarettes or anything else. Is your son working and helping with his expenses? TL Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app [/QUOTE]
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