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Money vs. Conversation with difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="Dancerat" data-source="post: 623198" data-attributes="member: 14984"><p>CA, I am also in IT, and I wonder if the fact that we make pretty good money has something to do with it. When my son used to ask me for money, I'd think well, that's really just a lunch and coffee - or that's an hour of my life, surely I can afford that. But it's not that, it's that our sons, and mine is 21 as well, are being given a message when they hold out their hand and we just put money in there, we are telling our sons that we don't trust them enough or believe in them enough that they can earn their own money. What I ended up telling my son was basically this: I'm not going to support your bad habits. If you want food, you can eat what's here, or you can use your SNAP card. If you want cigarettes, why would I, your mother put a cigarette in your hand? I wouldn't do it when you were 12, and I certainly wouldn't do if if you were 30. You need to do what you want to do, not what they guilt you into doing.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Dancerat, post: 623198, member: 14984"] CA, I am also in IT, and I wonder if the fact that we make pretty good money has something to do with it. When my son used to ask me for money, I'd think well, that's really just a lunch and coffee - or that's an hour of my life, surely I can afford that. But it's not that, it's that our sons, and mine is 21 as well, are being given a message when they hold out their hand and we just put money in there, we are telling our sons that we don't trust them enough or believe in them enough that they can earn their own money. What I ended up telling my son was basically this: I'm not going to support your bad habits. If you want food, you can eat what's here, or you can use your SNAP card. If you want cigarettes, why would I, your mother put a cigarette in your hand? I wouldn't do it when you were 12, and I certainly wouldn't do if if you were 30. You need to do what you want to do, not what they guilt you into doing. [/QUOTE]
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Money vs. Conversation with difficult child
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