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Money vs. Conversation with difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 623199" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Dancerat (welcome to the board, if you are new), that is exactly how I felt and feel. We tell our grown children that we do not trust them and do not think they are capable when we hand them money...that they do not know how to behave and can not get better. On top of that, I have always thought that if I gave Daughter money when she was using drugs, I was helping her take drugs because I knew she would use the money for that. She tells me that she is not sure she would have ever quit like she did had she been able to live at home with us in comfort during her drug days.</p><p></p><p>My ex gives lots of money to 36, who does not have an illegal drug problem. He has given him tons of money as he has inherited a lot himself. Do I care? No, it's none of my business if my ex wants to give his kids money. However, I am the one who gets to hear how much 36 appreciates his father's generosity. "I'm really not going to pay him back. I don't know how he expects me to. I'm not giving him anything...I'm broke." "He's such a &*%@!." Etc. etc. etc. If ex knew about this, and he won't hear it from me, he would be devastated. Ex is 36s bank. I'm the one 36 tells his deep, dark secrets to and whom he depends on for emotional support, even if I don't want to hear it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 623199, member: 1550"] Dancerat (welcome to the board, if you are new), that is exactly how I felt and feel. We tell our grown children that we do not trust them and do not think they are capable when we hand them money...that they do not know how to behave and can not get better. On top of that, I have always thought that if I gave Daughter money when she was using drugs, I was helping her take drugs because I knew she would use the money for that. She tells me that she is not sure she would have ever quit like she did had she been able to live at home with us in comfort during her drug days. My ex gives lots of money to 36, who does not have an illegal drug problem. He has given him tons of money as he has inherited a lot himself. Do I care? No, it's none of my business if my ex wants to give his kids money. However, I am the one who gets to hear how much 36 appreciates his father's generosity. "I'm really not going to pay him back. I don't know how he expects me to. I'm not giving him anything...I'm broke." "He's such a &*%@!." Etc. etc. etc. If ex knew about this, and he won't hear it from me, he would be devastated. Ex is 36s bank. I'm the one 36 tells his deep, dark secrets to and whom he depends on for emotional support, even if I don't want to hear it. [/QUOTE]
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Money vs. Conversation with difficult child
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