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Parent Emeritus
Money vs. Conversation with difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="nlj" data-source="post: 623238" data-attributes="member: 17650"><p>I just stopped the money. The same day as I found this site. The only thing I pay for now is his cellphone, and that's more for my benefit than his truthfully. I haven't seen him since Christmas and I only hear from him rarely, but he seems to have got the message and he's managing. He texted recently to say he'd been chopping wood for someone and had been paid some cash. So, I know (and he knows) that he can always do that now if he's desperate, instead of getting it from me. It's not easy, and I have frequent moments where I feel myself relenting and have to give myself a strong talking-to. But I'm sticking to the no-money thing. It's the right way to go for me. We can have an adult relationship rather than a 'mummy giving out pocket-money to her little boy' relationship. He just needs to realise that he's an adult.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="nlj, post: 623238, member: 17650"] I just stopped the money. The same day as I found this site. The only thing I pay for now is his cellphone, and that's more for my benefit than his truthfully. I haven't seen him since Christmas and I only hear from him rarely, but he seems to have got the message and he's managing. He texted recently to say he'd been chopping wood for someone and had been paid some cash. So, I know (and he knows) that he can always do that now if he's desperate, instead of getting it from me. It's not easy, and I have frequent moments where I feel myself relenting and have to give myself a strong talking-to. But I'm sticking to the no-money thing. It's the right way to go for me. We can have an adult relationship rather than a 'mummy giving out pocket-money to her little boy' relationship. He just needs to realise that he's an adult. [/QUOTE]
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Money vs. Conversation with difficult child
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