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Parent Emeritus
Moods swings, carb cravings, flying off the handle...
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 660693" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Thank you Nomad for filling me in. Our situations are similar. However hard it is when my son was a child, it is harder now that he is an adult.</p><p></p><p>You have achieved a great deal. That she is stable in her own place, willing to take medication and medication compliant, is huge.</p><p></p><p>That she is secure in a home away from your own, is also huge.</p><p></p><p>My son has been homeless and couch surfing when I or a friend do not put him up. My son can be charming, a young man...who just needs a hand...and people enable him.</p><p></p><p>He does not like our town so does not want to get an apartment here. And he does not like to pay rent, either. Prefering to spend his money on stuff he values, like super duper food or supplements or marijuana.</p><p></p><p>You have achieved a great deal.</p><p></p><p>One of the hardest things for me, is that I wish my son did not allow himself to be defined by his limitations, his feelings. He has so much going for him. Unfortunately I continue to think this way even though I know it may be part of his diagnosis. It is hard for me to accept his poverty of motivation and hope.</p><p></p><p>All of us, if we concentrate on our flaws and short-comings, would hide in bed. But I understand that is how my brain works. Not his.</p><p></p><p>We are focusing on baby steps now. Insisting upon different behaviors, that we spell out to the letter.</p><p></p><p>And absolutely not tolerating disrespect or the deliberate inflicting of his bad attitude on us. He is entitled to his own feelings, but not to inflict them on me.</p><p></p><p>I know I have to change, too. My unrealistic thinking and unrealistic expectations have been a large part of our problems. I am trying to lay off.</p><p></p><p>I give your daughter credit and you too. And me too. To raise children with heart is such a big thing. And it sounds like your daughter does get it and accept it when she is checked big time. This is to her credit, as well.</p><p></p><p>I mean we all deserve a big star. These relationships are hard. And yet we do it. And keep trying to do it better.</p><p></p><p>Nomad, would she consider doing a fitness challenge? Or training for a walking half marathon for a cause? You could do it as a family. Maybe my son will do it with me.</p><p></p><p>By the way, there are alternatives to Seroquel. In some states it is not permitted to be prescribed in prisons because it is highly abused and because of side effects.</p><p></p><p>Thank you, Nomad</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 660693, member: 18958"] Thank you Nomad for filling me in. Our situations are similar. However hard it is when my son was a child, it is harder now that he is an adult. You have achieved a great deal. That she is stable in her own place, willing to take medication and medication compliant, is huge. That she is secure in a home away from your own, is also huge. My son has been homeless and couch surfing when I or a friend do not put him up. My son can be charming, a young man...who just needs a hand...and people enable him. He does not like our town so does not want to get an apartment here. And he does not like to pay rent, either. Prefering to spend his money on stuff he values, like super duper food or supplements or marijuana. You have achieved a great deal. One of the hardest things for me, is that I wish my son did not allow himself to be defined by his limitations, his feelings. He has so much going for him. Unfortunately I continue to think this way even though I know it may be part of his diagnosis. It is hard for me to accept his poverty of motivation and hope. All of us, if we concentrate on our flaws and short-comings, would hide in bed. But I understand that is how my brain works. Not his. We are focusing on baby steps now. Insisting upon different behaviors, that we spell out to the letter. And absolutely not tolerating disrespect or the deliberate inflicting of his bad attitude on us. He is entitled to his own feelings, but not to inflict them on me. I know I have to change, too. My unrealistic thinking and unrealistic expectations have been a large part of our problems. I am trying to lay off. I give your daughter credit and you too. And me too. To raise children with heart is such a big thing. And it sounds like your daughter does get it and accept it when she is checked big time. This is to her credit, as well. I mean we all deserve a big star. These relationships are hard. And yet we do it. And keep trying to do it better. Nomad, would she consider doing a fitness challenge? Or training for a walking half marathon for a cause? You could do it as a family. Maybe my son will do it with me. By the way, there are alternatives to Seroquel. In some states it is not permitted to be prescribed in prisons because it is highly abused and because of side effects. Thank you, Nomad [/QUOTE]
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