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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 654108" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Okie girl, I have been reading along here. Please reclaim your own life. I know how very hard it is when you love someone, but you have done all you can do for someone who doesn't want to change.</p><p></p><p>Create some physical distance between you and him so you can heal, get stronger and learn some new ways of thinking and acting. The feelings will be hard for a long, long time, so expect that, but learn how to feel your feelings and not act on them.</p><p></p><p>Yes, pray for him and for yourself. It's time for you. He will have to do the hard, hard work of change, and the more you continue to enable him, the more time you put between him and change. He may NEVER change, but at least create some space and time and distance between you and him (and your "help") so he can feel the natural consequences of his own decisions and perhaps...perhaps...get sick and tired enough of his life to want to change.</p><p></p><p>That is what must occur for each and every one of us, in order for us to work and claw and fight and scratch and ....keep on...even when we are lonely and scared and tired...keep on working for change in ourselves.</p><p></p><p>Same for us. Same for him.</p><p></p><p>Warm hugs for you today. I lived in Oklahoma for some 13 years myself!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 654108, member: 17542"] Okie girl, I have been reading along here. Please reclaim your own life. I know how very hard it is when you love someone, but you have done all you can do for someone who doesn't want to change. Create some physical distance between you and him so you can heal, get stronger and learn some new ways of thinking and acting. The feelings will be hard for a long, long time, so expect that, but learn how to feel your feelings and not act on them. Yes, pray for him and for yourself. It's time for you. He will have to do the hard, hard work of change, and the more you continue to enable him, the more time you put between him and change. He may NEVER change, but at least create some space and time and distance between you and him (and your "help") so he can feel the natural consequences of his own decisions and perhaps...perhaps...get sick and tired enough of his life to want to change. That is what must occur for each and every one of us, in order for us to work and claw and fight and scratch and ....keep on...even when we are lonely and scared and tired...keep on working for change in ourselves. Same for us. Same for him. Warm hugs for you today. I lived in Oklahoma for some 13 years myself! [/QUOTE]
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