More Good News.

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Shari, Feb 6, 2009.

  1. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    I haven't been writing up all the issues we've been having with easy child 2. I figure the ones I post are more than plenty, and I don't wanna bore everyone anymore than I already do. But something good came around with her today.
    Shortly after Christmas break, she they don't have books to bring home for homework and that she's not allowed to bring home the study guides they do have. I doubted this, so I called her teacher, and yes, that was all a lie. So husband and I went to the school and met with the counselor, told her what had been going on with the school work and easy child 2 lying in general. The counselor started meeting with her.
    The counselor has seen her a few times, and easy child 2 quickly admitted she has a problem, which was good. Today the counselor called me. easy child 2 volunteered the Nintendo DS story, and that she truly hated lying to us about it. They talked about it extensively.
    The counselor asked me for more background info on it, which I gave her, and I told her it really put easy child in a pickle, and we, not knowing why she was lying, were in that pickle right there with her. The counselor told her the same things we did about the NDS. Parents shouldn't tell their kids to lie, and kids shouldn't lie. She told her it would have been better to have said to us "I got the DS and mom told me not to tell you", and she said easy child 2 said she felt that she could say that to me.
    I know counselors are supposed to be objective, but she really emphasized that we are doing the right things with easy child 2 and she is hearing us - even me, the proverbial bad guy. She indicated that easy child 2 not only doesn't hate me for being the bad guy who imposes limits, but that she respects me for being straight with her, and her dad and I both because we don't put her in the same positions that her mom does. To me, that's a big deal. She's hearing us.
    While I had her on the phone, I explained my middle man position and asked her if it would be best to step out of it. She said no.
    Its a little boost to push me down the easy child 2 road. I needed this. Thanks, counselor.
    And while I'm at it, so far, having her earn game and tv time has worked really well. I fully expect it to die off, but for now, its going really good. For the first time that I can remember, easy child 2 cares about learning the material, not just getting it done.
  2. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Shari, that's wonderful.
    Both that easy child 2 seems to be interested in learning, but even better, that she respects you and the way you handle things with her. Good for the counsellor for helping you all gain perspective on this.

    Great news!
  3. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    That is stupendous news!! in my humble opinion kids really like structure and boundaries. When they are lax, they flounder. And we must get them set in the early years, while their morals and values are still forming. All bets are off once they turn 13----but if they have been taught early, they usually return to those morals and values once the hormone attack is over.
  4. ML

    ML Guest

    Shari thank you for sharing this awesome news! You are a great warrior mom.
  5. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    That IS a great note, Shari! Way To Go!
    I've got my fingers crossed for future improvements, as well. :)
  6. Star*

    Star* call 911

    A bagless vacuum is ALWAYS better than a broom......or two