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Parent Emeritus
More musings from the 'slow lane.'
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 655650" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Thank you all for your lovely and supportive comments. </p><p></p><p>It's kind of an odd feeling to not be here as much.......it's been a place of such warmth and safety, of deep connections and profound growth for me......my heart is here yet my spirit is soaring to parts unknown, letting go of the parts of life that held so much pain and struggle for me......it's interesting how one grows accustomed to even heartbreak........</p><p></p><p>Like many of us here, I've been mired in the landscape, or perhaps the quicksand, of someone else's choices, which I allowed to impact my life and rob me of many, many moments. Waking up to that, realizing the amount of time, energy, care, money and force I utilized over a long period of time, is monumental.......and devastating. </p><p></p><p>I am actively choosing not to do that anymore.</p><p></p><p>Once I realized I had that choice, to choose how I would respond, how I would react..... that I had that power, life took on a whole new meaning. As ECHO said, my daughter has not changed her lifestyle, her behaviors, her choices.......she has only changed towards me. I am the one who changed inside out. And the changing of me, changed everything in my life. It is remarkable how much energy it takes to try to control what you cannot control. It is remarkable how much energy it takes to hold on to what you should let go. Its remarkable how much energy it takes to think <em>you </em>know what is best for another human being. It's remarkable how much energy it takes to stay in the past or fly into the future and NOT live in this moment. It is remarkable how much energy it takes to be right,to be perfect, to hold tightly onto a self perception which is essentially killing you.......ie: enabling, rescuing, codependency, or being a martyr....... I've walked in all those shoes and stepping out of them was no easy task! But once I did, man, I couldn't stop running........not away from, but towards........towards myself.</p><p></p><p>Without expending all of that useless energy on things I have no power to change, I now have that energy for me, for what makes me happy and brings joy.........</p><p></p><p>I do see this as a spiritual path........the path of learning to surrender, to let go, to allow life on it's terms, <em>not ours</em>, to learn trust in a power beyond our understanding which has a design for each soul. For me that trust brought me to a place of non judgment for my daughter, to accept her where she is. <em>Acceptance of what is......... Acceptance, the key to peace. </em></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 655650, member: 13542"] Thank you all for your lovely and supportive comments. It's kind of an odd feeling to not be here as much.......it's been a place of such warmth and safety, of deep connections and profound growth for me......my heart is here yet my spirit is soaring to parts unknown, letting go of the parts of life that held so much pain and struggle for me......it's interesting how one grows accustomed to even heartbreak........ Like many of us here, I've been mired in the landscape, or perhaps the quicksand, of someone else's choices, which I allowed to impact my life and rob me of many, many moments. Waking up to that, realizing the amount of time, energy, care, money and force I utilized over a long period of time, is monumental.......and devastating. I am actively choosing not to do that anymore. Once I realized I had that choice, to choose how I would respond, how I would react..... that I had that power, life took on a whole new meaning. As ECHO said, my daughter has not changed her lifestyle, her behaviors, her choices.......she has only changed towards me. I am the one who changed inside out. And the changing of me, changed everything in my life. It is remarkable how much energy it takes to try to control what you cannot control. It is remarkable how much energy it takes to hold on to what you should let go. Its remarkable how much energy it takes to think [I]you [/I]know what is best for another human being. It's remarkable how much energy it takes to stay in the past or fly into the future and NOT live in this moment. It is remarkable how much energy it takes to be right,to be perfect, to hold tightly onto a self perception which is essentially killing you.......ie: enabling, rescuing, codependency, or being a martyr....... I've walked in all those shoes and stepping out of them was no easy task! But once I did, man, I couldn't stop running........not away from, but towards........towards myself. Without expending all of that useless energy on things I have no power to change, I now have that energy for me, for what makes me happy and brings joy......... I do see this as a spiritual path........the path of learning to surrender, to let go, to allow life on it's terms, [I]not ours[/I], to learn trust in a power beyond our understanding which has a design for each soul. For me that trust brought me to a place of non judgment for my daughter, to accept her where she is. [I]Acceptance of what is......... Acceptance, the key to peace. [/I] [/QUOTE]
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