Thanks, All! We just got home. I like your idea Terry!
Adrianne- I love that story!
Janet- I'll try to repsond with comments and questions and hope it doesn't come across as defensive.
Last year I was trying to get my son into a psychiatric hospital for an evaluation (not acute- a 2 to 4 week stay)- this was after he set a brush fire. He had not been diagnosis'd as BiPolar (BP) at that time. Anyway, the court assigned a gal to help with that. She could not help with that and at the 11th hour, my insurance co. said they wouldn't pay for the evaluation so difficult child could not go- county would not pay. Gal apparently thought I was not telling the truth (she doesn't know that much about this sort of thing) and apparently got ticked at me for not getting difficult child into this psychiatric hospital- which as it turns out, would not have accepted him anyway because he had legal charges against him. So, gal first told me to turn custody over to ss, which I refused to do. Then gal filed a chins(child in need of services) and had ss look into placing difficult child outside of home. So, due to all this, they definitely care about difficult child getting treatment- the problem is that they are clueless about what form of treatment he should get. When difficult child's diagnosis changed to BiPolar (BP), psychiatrist recommended the county give me some help. GAL had MST ordered. (gal said "well I am sure this is what psychiatrist meant- no- it wasn't what psychiatrist meant- it was what gal assumed and did not clarify with anyone) MST guy shows up and after rolling eyes about any discussion of BiPolar (BP) and not wanting either of us to see a therapist for BiPolar (BP) issues and wanting to do nothing but a behavior contract, I asked him if he treats BiPolar (BP) and he said "No". I don't expect them to know the treatment for BiPolar (BP), I just expect them to either learn or quit telling me what to do when they don't know what should be done.
He still will get a punishment for setting the brush fire and other charges- he and all the rest of us are aware of that. This is what he goes to court for in 3 weeks. To me, I do think they should let that one go- there is too much evidence that it probably all resulted from being BiPolar (BP), on prozac for depression (mis-diagnosis'd), and just had prozac dosage doubled. I think the other charges should stand. psychiatrist wrote a letter to the judge explaining this. That's just my personal opinion, but it won't happen that way I am sure.
I agree with what you are saying re. therapist. We are currently seeing two. psychiatrist suggests cutting one out. One is difficult child's individual counselor that he has been seeing for 11 mos. (difficult child is compliant and goes and participates.) The other is a family counselor (or, for both of us to help with understanding BiPolar (BP), how to manage it, etc.) We have only been seeing him since Feb. of this year. Neither counselor has had the first conversation with either of us about strategies, maintaining BiPolar (BP), difficult child being able to recognize when he is symptommatic, or anything along those lines. That bothers me. I know it takes a while, but it makes me wonder if we are even ever going to get started.
psychiatrist- well from I hear now, I guess all of them around here are so swamped that they don't want any phone calls ever between appts., you get the 15 mins appointment and that is it. No psychiatric hospital visit or follow-up. So, if they are all like this, there is no need to change. This is the only psychiatrist difficult child has ever been to (except the one on the MDE team) so I wonder sometimes if he is doing what is most effective because I have nothing to compare it to. And, it concerns me that difficult child had a depressioon diagnosis with rule-out of BiPolar (BP) when psychiatrist doubled prozac dosage due to difficult child becoming frequently symptommatic and psychiatrist didn't even mention to me to watch out for manic symptoms, just in case. Ok, maybe I should have taken the script warnings more seriously and known to do that. I was ignorant- I didn't-I depended too much on psychiatrist to tell me what I needed to be worried about and watch for. So, then I started calling whenever I got worried about a medication. psychiatrist obviously doesn't appreciate that!
MST that does nothing but establish and monitor a behavior contract- It isn't that I don't think it could help people with BiPolar (BP)- it is that (from what I have read and heard and based on what the MDE psychiatrist said) I don't think that it can be used in place of other treatments for BiPolar (BP) and that BiPolar (BP) needs to be addressed to some extent first (ie- difficult child does need to learn symptoms, how to maintain them and we both need to learn strategies to help prevent escalation, what to do when there is escalation anyway, etc) This MST guy refused to have any of those discussions - he was all about contract and monitor contract only and give up the other. (The contract was for things like coming home on time, doing homework, etc.- not about taking medications, learning about BiPolar (BP), or anything BiPolar (BP) related). difficult child had been on mood stabilizers maybe 3 mos. at that point. Plus, the MST guy would say one thing to me then present a different picture to PO and GAL and judge. Truthfully, I couldn't stand the guy in my life and felt with everything in me that he was detrimental to me and difficult child. I don't question that behavior modification might be needed if BiPolar (BP) is being treated and difficult child refuses to be compliant or continues breaking law, etc. but I wouldn't drop BiPolar (BP) treatment thinking that a behavior contract will take care of all BiPolar (BP) related problems. And it would have to be accomplished some other way because I cannot deal with this MST guy. He already proved to me that he can't be trusted. When I proved all this to the judge, she didn't look too happy about the gal not checking into this before recommending it. I still asked if the county had anyone that could help with BiPolar (BP) issues (strategies, helping difficult child make decisions, helping me if he is manic, etc) and they said no.
You lost me on the "shadow" part. No one has offered that (sd or community/county). No one has offered to help difficult child with hypomaina or decisions- except the therapist I spoke with on the phone last week. (If I can figure out a way to keep myself employed enough to still support difficult child and myself, I will change to this therapist.) The MST guy was close to shadowing me, maybe, but not difficult child. If difficult child is diagnosis'd with BiPolar (BP) and everyone is supposed to get on the same page- shouldn't that page be the BiPolar (BP) treatment page? That is what I asked the MST guy and the judge. The MST guy said no and tried to lead us to believe that difficult child could follow this contract and not need medications or any other treatment for mood cycling; I felt like that was setting difficult child up for failure and took it to a hearing before the judge; the judge ruled in my favor.
I guess, what I am trying to say is that it makes sense to me that a person would be held accountable if they broke a law or rule whether BiPolar (BP) or anything else if they knew they had the condition and had been taught ways of dealing with the condition. If they know they have the condition, then they should be held accountable for doing their part to LEARN how to deal with (take responsibility- age appropriate) for getting help and treatment. But, if a kid had tourrette's syndrome and NO ONE knew it, much less got treatment for it, should the kid get punished the first time he yells obscenities to a judge in court? Would that be right? I'm probably on this soap box right now because it took me 2 years to quit "blaming" difficult child for acting the way he was acting and be able to see it as symptoms. That isn't to say all of them are symptoms- like this morning. This morning was manipulation and trying to take advantage and he did not get an excuse from me for sd.
I really hope this hasn't come across as argumentative. I do appreciate everyone's input. This is just a list of my gripes, I guess. Maybe I can look back over it after a while and think more rationally about whether or not I am just expecting too much from the county and docs and everyone else. That very well could be the case.
And- everything I have said here is open for discussion- if you want to point out where my thinking is going awry in all this, feel free! Really- I will listen and try hard to look at it objectively.
