More subs. Ugh.

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Shari, Jan 19, 2010.

  1. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Wee's SpEd teacher caught me this morning...she is out again this afternoon doing testing, will be out on Monday doing training, and has 4 FBA's to do.

    Which means that's at least 5 days in the near future that wee won't have his lifeline at school, and is likely to not be able to stay at school.

    This woman is the district's autism support person. Wee clings to her to make it thru each day, and I'm sure he's not the only kiddo that needs her and the routine she brings.

    How do other districts handle this? I'm racking my brain trying to think of ideas to proposition the school to work around this...
  2. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    My difficult child is not in resource or such (since middle school), but I know that any sub kinda throws him for a loop. Last week the teachers were doing some kind of training or something and he had a sub in at least one class every day! Subs are really tough on our kids...

    Hope wee can along ok.

  3. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Can he substitute someone else perhaps such as the janitor maybe? Even if going to someone not formally a teaching person to calm down but was really good with him, it would allow him to get a grip. I know that when Cory was in 5th grade, he used to be allowed to go into the class with the kids who were severely disabled and read to them or help them. It did him a world of good. He actually got one little boy to say his first words ever! Then the idiots at school took that away from him as an outlet. Stupid. It did Cory good and those kids good. That boys mother was so mad! First words the boy ever said were "Coy and"
  4. tictoc

    tictoc New Member

    Perhaps Wee could be helped to bond with another person at the school? Hard, I know, because we can't control who they like. But, it seems that he needs another person who can step in when the sp ed teacher is gone.

    Last week was the first week back from break for us and it was a doozy. Bug's aide was out for the first two days and the inclusion teacher was out all week. It was very hard for Bug. He had a sub aide and there was a sub for the autism incl teacher, but what really saved the day(s) for us was that Bug is also bonded to an aide in a different gen ed classroom. When he is in really serious need, she comes over to his room.

    This bond with her did not happen by design, though, but maybe one could be enouraged between Wee and someone he already seems to like???

    Good luck.
  5. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    You shouldn't have to do their thinking and their work for them. The school, I mean.

    At least they told you, though.

    In the short-term, I would simply pull him out of school for the days his support is not going to be there. We did this with difficult child 3 - if he was going to have a sub (when we discovered that it always led to problems) then we asked for worksheets for him to do at home, and I kept him at home doing schoolwork. If he completed all his work early, I had other educational software packages for him to work on at home, or we'd watch an educational DVD.

    The good thing about this method - the school had to explain absences like this, I would have to send in a note form home explaining the absence (as with any absence) and having on their files, "I kept the child home because there was no suitable person available for his support," does not make them look good. They can explain away a little of it, but they MUST put in provisions. As long as you accept the way they do things and don't rock the boat, they will see this as "it's OK to keep doing what we do," but your aim is to keep your child as stable as possible, as positive and productive as possible. You already know that too many subs is bad for him and likely to lead to problems. So head them off at the pass. Keep him home but make it clear - the school needs to work to find someone else that wee will also accept as an alternate support.

    If this person is so much in demand, then they need to hire another person to help her. The level of workload is an indication of need on a broader scale, and should indicate a positive direction for the education authorities to take, in order to get the best medium-term/long-term outcome for the schools in the area, in Special Education as well as mainstream.

    If you need to, try adapting what I just said in a request to the school district (or higher) for more support funding on a broader scale, with a view to greatly improving the long-term prognosis and outcomes for students in that district.

    Good luck.

    I was just talking to husband this morning about this - a TV psychologist was talking about "back to school" preparation (our new school year begins on Monday). He said that Pachelbel's Canon in D Major is noted for being a piece of music which reduces anxiety in just about everybody. husband said there are other pieces of music and we should put together a CD of it all and market it.
    I said we already put together our own music selection which we used on difficult child 3 back in Grade 5 especially. But it still was a struggle that year, because the class teacher he had tat year was very difficult and would not do what the various visiting advisors suggested; she even ignored the IEP where she could slide by.
    The year after difficult child 3 was in her class (and I was no longer involved in her class) she banned all visiting therapists from observing students in her class. She extended tta ban to another family member who also taught at the same school and encouraged other staff to also ban therapist visits. This is not right and could have been/should have been challenged but no parent was game to complain higher up. The principal should have stepped in but again, even he wasn't game.
    husband said, "She wouldn't have done tat to you."
    I thought about it, remembered tat she DID try it with me but backed down fast when I insisted. She succeeded in following years because parents were scared of reprisals against their kids if they insisted. But eventually she was challenged and is now retired.

    My point - she did things her way because nobody stopped her. It seems to be the way.

    If a situation is unacceptable, it is not YOUR job to make the best of a bad lot. You also have a lot more freedom of choice than the schools would let you believe. THEY don't have as much freedom as you do. The more you do things your way to best suit your child's needs, the more the school needs to make sure the regulations are being followed. THEY have to do this. Not you. You look out for your child. THEY have to scramble to help you do it according to the rules.

    When difficult child 3 spent so much time at home in Grade 5, the school knew the rules were being badly bent. But there really seemed no option. It was the school who kept the truant officers off our backs, because they knew that if the truant offices got involved, the health issues and other problems with difficult child 3, including the school not properly following the IEP, would all come out.
    You would think it would be easier for them to just do the right thing, wouldn't you?

    Wee's school does sound a lot better, though.

  6. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    Janet's reply triggered an idea, how about the school nurse? My son had the option of going to the school nurse in elementary school when he was feeling anxious or frustrated. It always calmed him down.

    The only problem was if she was in the middle of really "sick" care. Then he would just sit outside her office and wait. Now in 8th grade, the nurse is still a calm place for him. He would just go in there be silent for awhile, and then when he calmed they would talke about a tv show, a book, etc., and then she would send him on his way.

    Different nurse now, same calming effect. Just an idea....