Now youngest is officially a Difficult Child. She is 15 going on 21. The past year and a half have been awful. But, I thought I was seeing improvement so I kept hoping it was just teenage angst. It's more, definitely more.
Last year when she was 14 and starting high school, she fell hard for the wrong teen boy. There were 3 years age difference, he had a history of juvenile offenses. It was on again off again for several months. Then in Jan 2015, I went to wake her up for school and she was gone and 2nd story bedroom window was open. We called police and she was found at his house. She was taken to juvenile office, where she made veiled threats to self harm if she couldn't be with him. They had me take to mental health clinic, where she did the same. They sent us for admission to a mental health facility 150 miles away. 3 days there, then followed with local therapist. In June 2015, she snuck out during the night, with the plans to get back home before we knew. It started raining, so we got up during night to close windows. Again, Gone. Called police. The police must have got to his house before she did, as they didn't find her. She continued to hide in the community for 3 days. She came home, and we had to notify the police, who took her back to JV. They released her later that day, and eventually in July, we had to go to court, the judge ordered a no contact order between them, she got court services monitoring for 6 months. Completed her 6months and everything was dropped. now he is 18 and she is 15...and he is back in the picture again!!!
I have called the court and asked if they could put the restraining order back in place. Nope. I called her probation officer and tried to get help that way. He couldn't do anything, but transferred my call to the probation officer for the now adult young man. He wants me to contact the police with the info I have. I waited over the weekend and just kept close tabs on her. She tried to see him last night, saying it was a guy we know and trust...but when we insisted that the guy come to the door, she lost it. This other kid has always walked her to the door and said hello. So we know it was the 18yo. Then husband said he would walk out with her and he would say hello...and she said they had to leave.
Well today, the 18yo called her at school and let her know that I had talked to his probation officer. OnMyGoodness. She is ballistic! How could I try to ruin his life and her future!!! I explained that he is responsible for his actions, the same as she is. That if I was trying to ruin his life, I would have gone to the police. She said I should have talked to her first. I told her I had been trying, but she denied any involvement with him.
I had a feeling the guy had been meeting her on school property, and the principal and security officer is aware and caught it on film. They said he would be arrested if he returns to school property.
I know I need to stand firm, but I have heard how much she hates us so much In the last 24 hours. She has threatened to cut herself (has done it in the past) and also veiled threats of killing herself. I believe these are manipulation a to try and get her way and keep him out of trouble by deflecting it all on herself.
So tired... I have been playing detective for a week or more and the copies of texts I have is probably enough to get him in major trouble, but, I really don't want to chance dtr going to foster care, if I can help it. But, if it comes to that, I guess it is a possibility... KSM
Last year when she was 14 and starting high school, she fell hard for the wrong teen boy. There were 3 years age difference, he had a history of juvenile offenses. It was on again off again for several months. Then in Jan 2015, I went to wake her up for school and she was gone and 2nd story bedroom window was open. We called police and she was found at his house. She was taken to juvenile office, where she made veiled threats to self harm if she couldn't be with him. They had me take to mental health clinic, where she did the same. They sent us for admission to a mental health facility 150 miles away. 3 days there, then followed with local therapist. In June 2015, she snuck out during the night, with the plans to get back home before we knew. It started raining, so we got up during night to close windows. Again, Gone. Called police. The police must have got to his house before she did, as they didn't find her. She continued to hide in the community for 3 days. She came home, and we had to notify the police, who took her back to JV. They released her later that day, and eventually in July, we had to go to court, the judge ordered a no contact order between them, she got court services monitoring for 6 months. Completed her 6months and everything was dropped. now he is 18 and she is 15...and he is back in the picture again!!!
I have called the court and asked if they could put the restraining order back in place. Nope. I called her probation officer and tried to get help that way. He couldn't do anything, but transferred my call to the probation officer for the now adult young man. He wants me to contact the police with the info I have. I waited over the weekend and just kept close tabs on her. She tried to see him last night, saying it was a guy we know and trust...but when we insisted that the guy come to the door, she lost it. This other kid has always walked her to the door and said hello. So we know it was the 18yo. Then husband said he would walk out with her and he would say hello...and she said they had to leave.
Well today, the 18yo called her at school and let her know that I had talked to his probation officer. OnMyGoodness. She is ballistic! How could I try to ruin his life and her future!!! I explained that he is responsible for his actions, the same as she is. That if I was trying to ruin his life, I would have gone to the police. She said I should have talked to her first. I told her I had been trying, but she denied any involvement with him.
I had a feeling the guy had been meeting her on school property, and the principal and security officer is aware and caught it on film. They said he would be arrested if he returns to school property.
I know I need to stand firm, but I have heard how much she hates us so much In the last 24 hours. She has threatened to cut herself (has done it in the past) and also veiled threats of killing herself. I believe these are manipulation a to try and get her way and keep him out of trouble by deflecting it all on herself.
So tired... I have been playing detective for a week or more and the copies of texts I have is probably enough to get him in major trouble, but, I really don't want to chance dtr going to foster care, if I can help it. But, if it comes to that, I guess it is a possibility... KSM