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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 760279" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>I can't sadly answer how long he will be this way.If he is an addict, he may do these things until he gets sober and he could. Or not. If you can learn to live one day at a time, it won't help him but it will help YOU accept that we don't have answers... but that each day is new! Each fresh day can be a great day with unexpected opportunities.</p><p></p><p>I also found letting go of outcomes (not thinking about how things will turn out) has dialed down my anxiety channel at least 90 percent. That is a tool I learned in Nar Anon...that I can actually choose not to think about the future outcomes. I would have laughed if somebody had told me this is possible even five years ago. Yet it is. This tool also came to me from Nar Anon. I am so much more at peace just allowing God to control my future and that of my daughter.</p><p></p><p> I can't change anything so worrying is just a toxic emotion that doesn't help anyone. But God can, if God is in your life. You can decide to let go of outcomes even without God. We decide what to think about and can alter our thoughts at any time. Trying to analyze our kids or the why's and what did I do wrongs also helps.nobody, causes much angst and gives us no answers. Often our kids don't even really know why but if we push for an answer, the angry young adult often targets us. He or she needs to blame someone and we may take it to heart. in my opinion don't ask.</p><p></p><p>If you don't like meetings, but are interested in these tools, I recommend buying or renting the SESH book (Sharing Experience Strength and Hope Nar-Anon.) It's on Amazon. I love it and it has a daily reading. There are also online email and Zoom meetings, if interested. If not....tre book is my Bible.</p><p></p><p>In the end, this is a journey about healing ourselves only because we can't heal our kids. So we, caregivers all our lives, can learn to take care of ourselves. There is no other option except to suffer. It's our decision.</p><p></p><p>I send blessings and hugs to you and your beloved son.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 760279, member: 23706"] I can't sadly answer how long he will be this way.If he is an addict, he may do these things until he gets sober and he could. Or not. If you can learn to live one day at a time, it won't help him but it will help YOU accept that we don't have answers... but that each day is new! Each fresh day can be a great day with unexpected opportunities. I also found letting go of outcomes (not thinking about how things will turn out) has dialed down my anxiety channel at least 90 percent. That is a tool I learned in Nar Anon...that I can actually choose not to think about the future outcomes. I would have laughed if somebody had told me this is possible even five years ago. Yet it is. This tool also came to me from Nar Anon. I am so much more at peace just allowing God to control my future and that of my daughter. I can't change anything so worrying is just a toxic emotion that doesn't help anyone. But God can, if God is in your life. You can decide to let go of outcomes even without God. We decide what to think about and can alter our thoughts at any time. Trying to analyze our kids or the why's and what did I do wrongs also helps.nobody, causes much angst and gives us no answers. Often our kids don't even really know why but if we push for an answer, the angry young adult often targets us. He or she needs to blame someone and we may take it to heart. in my opinion don't ask. If you don't like meetings, but are interested in these tools, I recommend buying or renting the SESH book (Sharing Experience Strength and Hope Nar-Anon.) It's on Amazon. I love it and it has a daily reading. There are also online email and Zoom meetings, if interested. If not....tre book is my Bible. In the end, this is a journey about healing ourselves only because we can't heal our kids. So we, caregivers all our lives, can learn to take care of ourselves. There is no other option except to suffer. It's our decision. I send blessings and hugs to you and your beloved son. [/QUOTE]
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