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<blockquote data-quote="rebelson" data-source="post: 687811" data-attributes="member: 19966"><p>TL </p><p></p><p>No, I will not pay his rent. There are many jobs to be gotten, especially in south FL. In the past, he has had a hard time keeping a job due to being stoned or buzzed while working. Hopefully, it'll work out better for him being sober. </p><p></p><p>He lived with paternal grandma for almost 2 yrs & barely worked. He was too busy drinking & drugging. She let it go on. Man, he had it good there! He cld be halfway thru college by now. </p><p></p><p>But in August he found his stuff on the front porch. </p><p></p><p>From August to March 25 (the day he entered residential treatment), he's been a mixture of (a little) homeless, (a little) couch surfing @ friends, several nights in hotel rooms (on me, of course), & several months in a rented room, which I also DID help him with, but he still got behind in the rent. Hmm. You know why that happened? He was using ALL of his PT job earnings on alcohol, pot & likely Xanax here & there. The more $ help I give, the more he seems to "take". Not healthy for him. </p><p></p><p>All I have to say is, can you imagine the ramped up intensity of etoh/drugs that would've been likely, if his rent was being taken care of by mommy? </p><p></p><p>No way. I will not. He has choices to make. As Copa says, he needs to become a man. For that transition to complete itself (it's been stagnant), mommy needs to get out of his way. </p><p></p><p>He is still in residential. After he leaves there, he transitions to the affiliated Sober Living facility & where he will attend IOP for several months, he will be there at least 3 months. </p><p></p><p>After that, "he will hopefully make the choice" to remain in a sober living/halfway house & continue with AA & a sponsor. </p><p></p><p>As long as he remains in sober living/halfway house, I will HELP him here & there...food, clothes, 'maybe' rent, only if in a real bind etc. </p><p></p><p>But pay his rent for him? No. He's almost 24. At 24, I was a single RN working full-time, with no child support, paying for child care, all bills, car pmt, food, a nice apt, with a 2yo, ---> him<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" />. </p><p></p><p>TL, I don't know if you remember, but a few months back, I had been transferring quite a bit of $ into his bank acct, often for 'supposed food'. Ha! Food my butt. Within an hour (usually less) of each transfer I'd make, at his innocent sounding request for 'food $', he wld make stops at ale houses, liquor stores, CVS drug stores, etc. </p><p></p><p>So, again no I won't be paying his rent<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" />.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="rebelson, post: 687811, member: 19966"] TL No, I will not pay his rent. There are many jobs to be gotten, especially in south FL. In the past, he has had a hard time keeping a job due to being stoned or buzzed while working. Hopefully, it'll work out better for him being sober. He lived with paternal grandma for almost 2 yrs & barely worked. He was too busy drinking & drugging. She let it go on. Man, he had it good there! He cld be halfway thru college by now. But in August he found his stuff on the front porch. From August to March 25 (the day he entered residential treatment), he's been a mixture of (a little) homeless, (a little) couch surfing @ friends, several nights in hotel rooms (on me, of course), & several months in a rented room, which I also DID help him with, but he still got behind in the rent. Hmm. You know why that happened? He was using ALL of his PT job earnings on alcohol, pot & likely Xanax here & there. The more $ help I give, the more he seems to "take". Not healthy for him. All I have to say is, can you imagine the ramped up intensity of etoh/drugs that would've been likely, if his rent was being taken care of by mommy? No way. I will not. He has choices to make. As Copa says, he needs to become a man. For that transition to complete itself (it's been stagnant), mommy needs to get out of his way. He is still in residential. After he leaves there, he transitions to the affiliated Sober Living facility & where he will attend IOP for several months, he will be there at least 3 months. After that, "he will hopefully make the choice" to remain in a sober living/halfway house & continue with AA & a sponsor. As long as he remains in sober living/halfway house, I will HELP him here & there...food, clothes, 'maybe' rent, only if in a real bind etc. But pay his rent for him? No. He's almost 24. At 24, I was a single RN working full-time, with no child support, paying for child care, all bills, car pmt, food, a nice apt, with a 2yo, ---> him:). TL, I don't know if you remember, but a few months back, I had been transferring quite a bit of $ into his bank acct, often for 'supposed food'. Ha! Food my butt. Within an hour (usually less) of each transfer I'd make, at his innocent sounding request for 'food $', he wld make stops at ale houses, liquor stores, CVS drug stores, etc. So, again no I won't be paying his rent:). [/QUOTE]
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