Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Most difficult years of my life
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Sam3" data-source="post: 725778" data-attributes="member: 19290"><p>Guidance</p><p></p><p>It sounds like you and your husband have already made so many of the hard decisions the situation requires. </p><p></p><p>Obviously you know from here that there are many families in your situation, having to make these difficult choices. </p><p></p><p>But also know that you are not alone in the terrible feelings the right decisions can still leave us with. </p><p></p><p>When there is no choice, there shouldn’t be regret and doubt on top of sadness. But there often is. </p><p></p><p>I think the second guessing is normal. The parenting instinct to shelter, feed and protect is very strong. </p><p></p><p>And our boundaries often don’t noticeably lead to a rock bottom for them. It’s hard to accept that change might not be just around the next corner. Our kids just keep slipping an inch and a decision at a time, and seem not to be able to remember what was once normal and within their reach, and how far they’ve fallen. </p><p></p><p>When they refuse to grab the wheel of their ship, their lives are still as good as WE deliver to them, or as bad as WE let them be. </p><p></p><p>For me, it’s an impossible position to be in to have to deliver the consequences of my son’s self-destructive choices, then witness him suffering from the consequences, while also representing a reference point of his past potential and some kind of pathway to light at the end of the tunnel. </p><p></p><p>It requires nerves of steel and a deaf ear — which are hard to mold out of a parents’ heart.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Sam3, post: 725778, member: 19290"] Guidance It sounds like you and your husband have already made so many of the hard decisions the situation requires. Obviously you know from here that there are many families in your situation, having to make these difficult choices. But also know that you are not alone in the terrible feelings the right decisions can still leave us with. When there is no choice, there shouldn’t be regret and doubt on top of sadness. But there often is. I think the second guessing is normal. The parenting instinct to shelter, feed and protect is very strong. And our boundaries often don’t noticeably lead to a rock bottom for them. It’s hard to accept that change might not be just around the next corner. Our kids just keep slipping an inch and a decision at a time, and seem not to be able to remember what was once normal and within their reach, and how far they’ve fallen. When they refuse to grab the wheel of their ship, their lives are still as good as WE deliver to them, or as bad as WE let them be. For me, it’s an impossible position to be in to have to deliver the consequences of my son’s self-destructive choices, then witness him suffering from the consequences, while also representing a reference point of his past potential and some kind of pathway to light at the end of the tunnel. It requires nerves of steel and a deaf ear — which are hard to mold out of a parents’ heart. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Most difficult years of my life
Top