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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 760258" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Dear Newt Leaf</p><p></p><p>I am heartbroken with you. I am so, so very sorry. These are exactly the circumstances my son was born into. Two parents, homeless and drug addicted. He was placed in a crisis nursery and was there until I came along when he was 22 months old. His birth parents were still in "parent reunification." For what earthly reason, I am unclear. I don't know how I had the courage to take in a child under these circumstances. I guess it was either denial or blind faith. By this time my son's birth mother had already given birth to many children, none of them under her care. Her mother was raising 4 and could not take in a 5th. Still, my son's birth grandmother visited him. How very hard for her it must have been. I think of her often. </p><p></p><p>I guess I repeated all of this because I am well-aware of the multi-generational burden of what you describe. My son will carry wounds for his whole life, and so will I. I tell you all of this (maybe again) to reaffirm to you that you are not the first or last mother to walk this horrible walk, alone. I know you know this and it won't make it easier to bear.</p><p></p><p>But maybe it will help you put this burden and horror into it's due context, which is this. Your daughter has neglected her children for their whole lives. She has exposed them to harm, to disappointment, to abandonment and to betrayal. Who knows if she sent her father to an early grave. She is certainly responsible for monumental pressure and exposing him to pain and suffering his tender soul could not bear. She has treated you with undeserved anger, targeted you with undeserved vitriol and abuse. She has overrun your home with indifference and brazenly.</p><p></p><p>And now this. Causing you this agony of loss of a grandchild you can't protect. You couldn't protect any of her other children and you can't protect this baby.</p><p></p><p>She brings a new tender soul into this life and she abandons him to his fate. She has done this. She has done this to him and she has done this to you. And again she has exposed her children to hurts that they could not have the capacity to bear. Having to face the loss of an infant brother.</p><p></p><p>Oh. I am not without empathy and I am not blaming her. But I am holding her responsible. As she must someday hold herself. She has been incognizant and uncaring of whatever hurt and danger she has brought onto all who love her. And now with this new iteration, she has done so again.</p><p></p><p>I really feel a kind of hate for the system that presents to you a burden and responsibility that is not yours to bear. One more time. I find it unfeeling and uncaring and morally wrong. You deserve all of the care, nurturing and safety that you can muster now, New Leaf. I am so very sad reading this, but I am glad you came to us.</p><p></p><p>Love, Copa</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 760258, member: 18958"] Dear Newt Leaf I am heartbroken with you. I am so, so very sorry. These are exactly the circumstances my son was born into. Two parents, homeless and drug addicted. He was placed in a crisis nursery and was there until I came along when he was 22 months old. His birth parents were still in "parent reunification." For what earthly reason, I am unclear. I don't know how I had the courage to take in a child under these circumstances. I guess it was either denial or blind faith. By this time my son's birth mother had already given birth to many children, none of them under her care. Her mother was raising 4 and could not take in a 5th. Still, my son's birth grandmother visited him. How very hard for her it must have been. I think of her often. I guess I repeated all of this because I am well-aware of the multi-generational burden of what you describe. My son will carry wounds for his whole life, and so will I. I tell you all of this (maybe again) to reaffirm to you that you are not the first or last mother to walk this horrible walk, alone. I know you know this and it won't make it easier to bear. But maybe it will help you put this burden and horror into it's due context, which is this. Your daughter has neglected her children for their whole lives. She has exposed them to harm, to disappointment, to abandonment and to betrayal. Who knows if she sent her father to an early grave. She is certainly responsible for monumental pressure and exposing him to pain and suffering his tender soul could not bear. She has treated you with undeserved anger, targeted you with undeserved vitriol and abuse. She has overrun your home with indifference and brazenly. And now this. Causing you this agony of loss of a grandchild you can't protect. You couldn't protect any of her other children and you can't protect this baby. She brings a new tender soul into this life and she abandons him to his fate. She has done this. She has done this to him and she has done this to you. And again she has exposed her children to hurts that they could not have the capacity to bear. Having to face the loss of an infant brother. Oh. I am not without empathy and I am not blaming her. But I am holding her responsible. As she must someday hold herself. She has been incognizant and uncaring of whatever hurt and danger she has brought onto all who love her. And now with this new iteration, she has done so again. I really feel a kind of hate for the system that presents to you a burden and responsibility that is not yours to bear. One more time. I find it unfeeling and uncaring and morally wrong. You deserve all of the care, nurturing and safety that you can muster now, New Leaf. I am so very sad reading this, but I am glad you came to us. Love, Copa [/QUOTE]
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