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Mother’s Day?
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 760276" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>All of this is true. Driven by emotion, my mind goes to many places. Especially in the wee hours of the morning. I am not wavering on my decision to not house my daughter. It is a hard fact that it has never worked. </p><p></p><p>It has been two days since he was removed from Tornado. Healthier mothers in this situation would do anything to have their child back. I don’t know if any effort has been made today. I have weighed these choices my daughter has made, endangering her unborn child up until he was nearly born. I suppose that’s why the act of engaging with her in rehab sent warning flags within. I had so hoped that it would be different. You are right Copa that she did not enter rehab of her own volition. This in of itself is a precursor to the recent developments. </p><p></p><p>Oh the places my mind will go, and yes it is self torture. Thank you, I need to get my bearings back on track.</p><p></p><p>It is not helping anyone, especially not me, and not my granddaughter. I have to stand my ground. It is not my burden. </p><p></p><p>You know Copa, I have told myself over and again that my stepping in is not helping. I have told Tornado as well that this child is her responsibility. It is all about choice. She chose to deviate from the course that would help her keep her child, get a job, housing. There is so much help for mother’s in her situation. That’s what I kept telling her. </p><p></p><p>Relapse is a part of recovery. The social worker stated she tested clean. She deviated from her day pass plan and got into an “altercation”. That’s all she could tell me. I can only assume the baby was with her at the time. So, she endangered herself and her child. Bad choices. Drug free for four months, but still in that kind of mind frame. She was still contacting her street boyfriend. That was a big clue that she was not ready to change. I asked her why she would stay with someone who was still using? All of this reaffirms my decision to not house her. </p><p></p><p>Thank you Copa. I want to copy this and put it on my fridge. </p><p></p><p>People can stop if they want to. I will hold on to that, and hold on to the fact that nothing I could do, or <em>feel</em>, would make her stop, she has to want it for herself.</p><p></p><p>Thank you Crayola for sharing. I have to hold on to the fact that I am not the only one who would care for and love this child. That at my age, and with health issues, I am not capable of caring for an infants needs. That would not be fair to him, or me, or my granddaughter. </p><p>I also feel that it is too easy for his mother to carry on as is, if I take that responsibility. I have to trust that the caregivers who have him now are good people. </p><p>The same guardian ad litum that we had two years ago is on baby’s case. The hearing is on Friday. We shall see what comes of this. </p><p>I am going to work hard at not kicking myself.</p><p>Thank you both so much for your thoughts and kindness.</p><p>Much love</p><p>New Leaf</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 760276, member: 19522"] All of this is true. Driven by emotion, my mind goes to many places. Especially in the wee hours of the morning. I am not wavering on my decision to not house my daughter. It is a hard fact that it has never worked. It has been two days since he was removed from Tornado. Healthier mothers in this situation would do anything to have their child back. I don’t know if any effort has been made today. I have weighed these choices my daughter has made, endangering her unborn child up until he was nearly born. I suppose that’s why the act of engaging with her in rehab sent warning flags within. I had so hoped that it would be different. You are right Copa that she did not enter rehab of her own volition. This in of itself is a precursor to the recent developments. Oh the places my mind will go, and yes it is self torture. Thank you, I need to get my bearings back on track. It is not helping anyone, especially not me, and not my granddaughter. I have to stand my ground. It is not my burden. You know Copa, I have told myself over and again that my stepping in is not helping. I have told Tornado as well that this child is her responsibility. It is all about choice. She chose to deviate from the course that would help her keep her child, get a job, housing. There is so much help for mother’s in her situation. That’s what I kept telling her. Relapse is a part of recovery. The social worker stated she tested clean. She deviated from her day pass plan and got into an “altercation”. That’s all she could tell me. I can only assume the baby was with her at the time. So, she endangered herself and her child. Bad choices. Drug free for four months, but still in that kind of mind frame. She was still contacting her street boyfriend. That was a big clue that she was not ready to change. I asked her why she would stay with someone who was still using? All of this reaffirms my decision to not house her. Thank you Copa. I want to copy this and put it on my fridge. People can stop if they want to. I will hold on to that, and hold on to the fact that nothing I could do, or [I]feel[/I], would make her stop, she has to want it for herself. Thank you Crayola for sharing. I have to hold on to the fact that I am not the only one who would care for and love this child. That at my age, and with health issues, I am not capable of caring for an infants needs. That would not be fair to him, or me, or my granddaughter. I also feel that it is too easy for his mother to carry on as is, if I take that responsibility. I have to trust that the caregivers who have him now are good people. The same guardian ad litum that we had two years ago is on baby’s case. The hearing is on Friday. We shall see what comes of this. I am going to work hard at not kicking myself. Thank you both so much for your thoughts and kindness. Much love New Leaf [/QUOTE]
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