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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 760312" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>A slow climb up the mountain. It is so much like an open wound that needs tender care and salve. The intense throbbing of the initial blow is starting to subside and I must facilitate a healing process. Time will help with that. </p><p></p><p>Ah, so true. Unfortunately. But it is the reality of dealing with an addicted loved one.</p><p></p><p>Thank you Copa for framing it this way. Openness. Hoku would much rather not deal with her sister, the memories of her childhood disrupted and the ensuing upheaval. I, on the other hand continue to hold out hope that one day she will see the light, but you are correct, it is not time. </p><p></p><p>I cannot handle it. I hope that I made that clear enough during those few therapy sessions that it is just too painful to see up close and personal. That I would support her in recovery efforts, but not in using. I spoke with her cousin who wasted 18 years of his life, drugging, thieving, in and out of jail. He is clean and says he will not go back, but he does go and encourage Rain to take better care of herself. I told him it is too hurtful for me to see my adult children living under those conditions. </p><p></p><p>I believe you are correct here. Prayer is a form of mantra and while I do pray, that act of walking and praying was very centering for me. Thank you for this reminder. Self preservation. Boundaries within to stop cycling repetitive thoughts, replace that with prayer. That is how I have survived these past six years. Well more than that. It has been six years here, but before that........oh Lord.</p><p></p><p>“To each, their own.” No one has the right to judge another. We all have to walk our paths, the way we see fit at the time. </p><p></p><p>I had nearly forgotten this tool. Things have been pretty settled before all of this. I have to stop ruminating, breathe and pray. Give it to God. It is too much</p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 14px">How can this be overlooked or minimized? I had not realized this before the past few days.</span></p><p>Yes, gang involvement. I don’t know how much she associates, but just the thought of it is frightening. </p><p></p><p>I have had issues with arthritis for years, it escalated in the past two years to a point where I have flare ups that are very painful. There are times when I suffer fatigue and have to rest most of the day. It is exacerbated with stress, overdoing, too much sitting (at work) and especially eating processed foods. I have been working on eating non inflammatory foods and listening to my body. I will slowly build up my exercise tolerance this summer and hope to make progress there.</p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 14px">I see it as sharing, opening to suppo rt, telling the truth. Integrating and moving beyond the torment.</span></p><p>Thank you Copa.</p><p></p><p>Thank you Copa, me too. It has helped me sort through my feelings. Having kind and thoughtful response is incredibly helpful. </p><p></p><p>I suppose there are many in our work environment who don’t often share with others the challenges they face. I’m sorry your mother was not kind to you Copa. </p><p></p><p>I agree.</p><p>much love</p><p>Leaf</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 760312, member: 19522"] A slow climb up the mountain. It is so much like an open wound that needs tender care and salve. The intense throbbing of the initial blow is starting to subside and I must facilitate a healing process. Time will help with that. Ah, so true. Unfortunately. But it is the reality of dealing with an addicted loved one. Thank you Copa for framing it this way. Openness. Hoku would much rather not deal with her sister, the memories of her childhood disrupted and the ensuing upheaval. I, on the other hand continue to hold out hope that one day she will see the light, but you are correct, it is not time. I cannot handle it. I hope that I made that clear enough during those few therapy sessions that it is just too painful to see up close and personal. That I would support her in recovery efforts, but not in using. I spoke with her cousin who wasted 18 years of his life, drugging, thieving, in and out of jail. He is clean and says he will not go back, but he does go and encourage Rain to take better care of herself. I told him it is too hurtful for me to see my adult children living under those conditions. I believe you are correct here. Prayer is a form of mantra and while I do pray, that act of walking and praying was very centering for me. Thank you for this reminder. Self preservation. Boundaries within to stop cycling repetitive thoughts, replace that with prayer. That is how I have survived these past six years. Well more than that. It has been six years here, but before that........oh Lord. “To each, their own.” No one has the right to judge another. We all have to walk our paths, the way we see fit at the time. I had nearly forgotten this tool. Things have been pretty settled before all of this. I have to stop ruminating, breathe and pray. Give it to God. It is too much [SIZE=14px]How can this be overlooked or minimized? I had not realized this before the past few days.[/SIZE] Yes, gang involvement. I don’t know how much she associates, but just the thought of it is frightening. I have had issues with arthritis for years, it escalated in the past two years to a point where I have flare ups that are very painful. There are times when I suffer fatigue and have to rest most of the day. It is exacerbated with stress, overdoing, too much sitting (at work) and especially eating processed foods. I have been working on eating non inflammatory foods and listening to my body. I will slowly build up my exercise tolerance this summer and hope to make progress there. [SIZE=14px]I see it as sharing, opening to suppo rt, telling the truth. Integrating and moving beyond the torment.[/SIZE] Thank you Copa. Thank you Copa, me too. It has helped me sort through my feelings. Having kind and thoughtful response is incredibly helpful. I suppose there are many in our work environment who don’t often share with others the challenges they face. I’m sorry your mother was not kind to you Copa. I agree. much love Leaf [/QUOTE]
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