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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 760337" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>It is a good thing RN. Baby went to work with Hoku yesterday. The hard part now is that he is stressed from the separation from his mother and the stimulation from new surroundings is going to be challenging. Her work will be finished on Saturday after the graduation, so they can settle into a routine. Poor little guy had his 4 month checkup complete with shots and blood draw to check his platelet count. He was hospitalized at two months due to an infection that caused a severe drop in platelets and red blood cells. He is very blessed to have survived that. They even did a marrow biopsy to check for leukemia. Sigh. This baby has been through so much in such a short span. He was inconsolable last night for quite some time and Hoku was besides herself. He finally quieted down and took a bottle then slept. It will be a journey until he knows he is in a safe place.</p><p></p><p>There is a reason. We are all going through a challenging time, glad baby is safe, worried and angry at the same time about Tornado. </p><p></p><p>He does. We shall have to pray very hard and lean on our faith. My granddaughter has been quiet, there must be so much going on in her heart and mind. I am trying to help her, but she has a wall up. </p><p>I sat outside this morning gazing at the stars and was flooded with that awful memory of Tornados last exodus from my home. I realized how much it still affects me, remembering that heightened level of stress, while still having to function. Everyone has challenges in life, but dealing with drug addicted love ones is on a level that unless someone’s lived it, I don’t think others can truly comprehend. I’m an adult and my stomach still churns when those memories appear. I can only imagine what my three grands have been through. </p><p>I hope that this little one does not have to endure the same. Tornado called on the day the SW went to visit Hoku. That’s a week and a half after having baby removed. Off the radar. I would have been going bonkers being away from my child. She sounded pretty ragged, said she had been sick. Who knows? With her track record, I can only assume that she is off the wagon, soothing herself by getting high. If that is the case and that remains her choice, I hope she loves this baby enough to let him go. That’s awful to write but it is the truth. Please don’t put another child through this horror.</p><p>I am rambling, this has tapped into so many layers of memories. </p><p>I have to find time to regroup and recover once again. </p><p>I will be okay. I realize I have ptsd. My grands do. I have to find a way to help my granddaughter. I have one more week until I retire. I am glad to be able to have more time to be with her. </p><p>Sorry for the venting. This is my early morning mind trying to sort things out. </p><p>Wishing for peace for all of us.</p><p>Leaf</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 760337, member: 19522"] It is a good thing RN. Baby went to work with Hoku yesterday. The hard part now is that he is stressed from the separation from his mother and the stimulation from new surroundings is going to be challenging. Her work will be finished on Saturday after the graduation, so they can settle into a routine. Poor little guy had his 4 month checkup complete with shots and blood draw to check his platelet count. He was hospitalized at two months due to an infection that caused a severe drop in platelets and red blood cells. He is very blessed to have survived that. They even did a marrow biopsy to check for leukemia. Sigh. This baby has been through so much in such a short span. He was inconsolable last night for quite some time and Hoku was besides herself. He finally quieted down and took a bottle then slept. It will be a journey until he knows he is in a safe place. There is a reason. We are all going through a challenging time, glad baby is safe, worried and angry at the same time about Tornado. He does. We shall have to pray very hard and lean on our faith. My granddaughter has been quiet, there must be so much going on in her heart and mind. I am trying to help her, but she has a wall up. I sat outside this morning gazing at the stars and was flooded with that awful memory of Tornados last exodus from my home. I realized how much it still affects me, remembering that heightened level of stress, while still having to function. Everyone has challenges in life, but dealing with drug addicted love ones is on a level that unless someone’s lived it, I don’t think others can truly comprehend. I’m an adult and my stomach still churns when those memories appear. I can only imagine what my three grands have been through. I hope that this little one does not have to endure the same. Tornado called on the day the SW went to visit Hoku. That’s a week and a half after having baby removed. Off the radar. I would have been going bonkers being away from my child. She sounded pretty ragged, said she had been sick. Who knows? With her track record, I can only assume that she is off the wagon, soothing herself by getting high. If that is the case and that remains her choice, I hope she loves this baby enough to let him go. That’s awful to write but it is the truth. Please don’t put another child through this horror. I am rambling, this has tapped into so many layers of memories. I have to find time to regroup and recover once again. I will be okay. I realize I have ptsd. My grands do. I have to find a way to help my granddaughter. I have one more week until I retire. I am glad to be able to have more time to be with her. Sorry for the venting. This is my early morning mind trying to sort things out. Wishing for peace for all of us. Leaf [/QUOTE]
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