MOTHER DAUGHTER ISSUES

[tbzb]

I HAVE A DAUGHTER WHO IS 22 AND IS NOT TALKING TO ME . IT STARTED 5 WEEKS AGO. SHE GRADUATED IN MAY. SHE HAD A BOYFRIEND AND WAS GOING TO GO LIVE IN ARIZONA WITH HER FATHER TILL THEY BOTH FOUND JOBS. WELL THE BOYFRIEND BROKE UP WITH HER <THANK GOD. HE WASNT GOING ANYWHERE. ILL GET BACK TO HIM IN A MINUTE. SHE CALLED ME CRYING TELLING ME I WANT TO COME HOME AND OF COURSE I SAID YES! THE MINUTE SHE WAS HOME ME AND MY HUSBAND HAD A NOT SO GOOD FEELING ABOUT EVERYTHING. SHE SAID SHE WAS LEAVING THE VERY NEXT DAY TO GO TO HER DADS HOUSE.

SO THAT DID NOT GO VERY WELL WITH US BECAUSE WE NEVER SPEND ANY TIME TOGETHER . SO WE WERE FIGHTING ABOUT THE HOLE THING. I REALLY THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO HAVE A COUPLE MONTHS TOGETHER .

SHE LEFT THE NEXT DAY . I WAS CRYING LIKE A BABY. SHE TOLD ME SHE LOVED ME AND AS I DID THE SAME. I WAS VERY SAD AND DIDNT REACH OUT FOR AND COUPLE WEEKS TO GIVE HER TIME OUT THERE. SOON AFTER I REACHED OUT SHE DIDNT TALK TO ME AT ALL.THREE DAYS LATER I GOT A TEXTED SAYING SHE DONE WITH ME AND DOES NOT WANT TO TALK ANYMORE. IVE BENN TRYING FOR A MONTH TO TALK TO HER BUT SHE DOES NOT CALL ME BACK.

SO THIS DAYS IVE BEEN VERY UPSET.

SHE SAID IN THE TEXT IM NOT PROUD OF HER AND DONT CARE ABOUT HER..... WHICH IS WRONG.
I LOVE HER TO DEATH AND HAVE BEEN THERE FOR HER IN LIFE FOR HER.

DOESN'T MAKE SENSE TO ME. IM HEARTBROKEN.

 

[BusynMember]

This is sadly a new and common problem. It is considered ok to dump your parents and usually the parent has no idea why. Do you have an ex who trashes you? That is one big reason. Another common reason is if we try to stay overly engaged in their lives even when they are adults....giving unasked for advice, opinions, calling every day, criticizing, helicoptering...etc. Our adult kids need space and dont want our constant feedback. Some adult kids are just not very nice and hurt us on purpose to punish us and they wont tell us what we did. There is usually a long history of the child being in control.

I would leave her alone and see what happens. Dont beg or act needy. Some adult kids feel satisfied seeing us beg. Yes, they do. Keep your self respect so that your daughter doesnt see you as her doormat. That wont help.

Have you ever been in therapy to learn how to love and care for yourself?