SuZir
Well-Known Member
Leave it to my mother in law to spoil my perfect weekend. I did ask tips for perfect murder last spring, when she tried to exclude difficult child from mother's day celebrations. I did let her live that time, because there was a stain in my funeral attire and no black clothes in stores. Now that problem is out of the way and I again feel like strangling her.
difficult child is graduating soonish. He did have his finals (similar to International Baccalaureate finals)and while we don't know the final exam results yet (they are curved and exams are graded both by kids' own teachers and then national board), we do know he is graduating with really tippy top grades, likely to be best ones in his school at least in a year or two. High School graduations tend to be big parties around here. Up to hundred guests are not uncommon and to be honest, they tend to be quite a bragging parties. difficult child doesn't want anything like that. I have to admit I was upset about that first and luckily he did give me time to get used to the idea. Now I'm totally okay with him not going to his graduating ceremony (he has a game at the same day) and we having small dinner party after the game with only his closest people present. And I do admit mother in law didn't have that time to think it over, but still she managed to make me so mad over this.
I told her difficult child will not have a big party, just dinner with us (me, husband and easy child), them (mother in law and father in law), his godparents and his girlfriend and maybe girlfriend's parents and sister. mother in law went ballistic. She ranted how difficult child of course had to screw also this up. That when my useless son once in his miserable life does something (those excellent grades) that is not a total embarrassment for her (mother in law), then that he wants to hide, when his every failure is so public. She also declared that she or father in law are not going to come and she will call her daughter (other of difficult child's godmothers) and tell her that they shouldn't come either. Well, that one won't fly, difficult child's godmother/aunt is not going to not come because her mother tells her so. But I don't really know if I should just laugh, cry and be hurt or simply strangle her.
To be honest, in reality it will be easy to get her to participate or at least fake illness and send father in law (that would probably make a much nicer party, but difficult child would guess what is going on, he is a smart cookie after all even with all his defects and he knows mother in law), if I want to. I only have to wonder aloud what will difficult child's other godparents (my good friends, highly esteemed people if you ask mother in law) or difficult child's girlfriend's parents think, if mother in law and father in law are boycotting the graduation party of their oldest grandchild. That will make her change her mind. But right now I'm not sure if I want her there. And I don't want to tell anything about this to difficult child. In the end this is not so much about him. It is about me. mother in law really doesn't like me and because husband (her golden boy) stands up for me sooner or later when she harps on me, she tends to harp on difficult child (while pretending to be just a worried granny.) Luckily mostly when difficult child is not present.
On the other hand I do know I should probably be worried about mother in law. She has always been a piece of work but this is extreme even for her. She was almost out of control when she kept on ranting about difficult child. And it is not only about me or difficult child. She has been really prickly with neighbours, her own unfavoured children other relatives etc. lately. I can't say I would had noticed any major memory issues with her and she is still on her sixties, but I have wondered about dementia few times before during last year.
difficult child is graduating soonish. He did have his finals (similar to International Baccalaureate finals)and while we don't know the final exam results yet (they are curved and exams are graded both by kids' own teachers and then national board), we do know he is graduating with really tippy top grades, likely to be best ones in his school at least in a year or two. High School graduations tend to be big parties around here. Up to hundred guests are not uncommon and to be honest, they tend to be quite a bragging parties. difficult child doesn't want anything like that. I have to admit I was upset about that first and luckily he did give me time to get used to the idea. Now I'm totally okay with him not going to his graduating ceremony (he has a game at the same day) and we having small dinner party after the game with only his closest people present. And I do admit mother in law didn't have that time to think it over, but still she managed to make me so mad over this.
I told her difficult child will not have a big party, just dinner with us (me, husband and easy child), them (mother in law and father in law), his godparents and his girlfriend and maybe girlfriend's parents and sister. mother in law went ballistic. She ranted how difficult child of course had to screw also this up. That when my useless son once in his miserable life does something (those excellent grades) that is not a total embarrassment for her (mother in law), then that he wants to hide, when his every failure is so public. She also declared that she or father in law are not going to come and she will call her daughter (other of difficult child's godmothers) and tell her that they shouldn't come either. Well, that one won't fly, difficult child's godmother/aunt is not going to not come because her mother tells her so. But I don't really know if I should just laugh, cry and be hurt or simply strangle her.
To be honest, in reality it will be easy to get her to participate or at least fake illness and send father in law (that would probably make a much nicer party, but difficult child would guess what is going on, he is a smart cookie after all even with all his defects and he knows mother in law), if I want to. I only have to wonder aloud what will difficult child's other godparents (my good friends, highly esteemed people if you ask mother in law) or difficult child's girlfriend's parents think, if mother in law and father in law are boycotting the graduation party of their oldest grandchild. That will make her change her mind. But right now I'm not sure if I want her there. And I don't want to tell anything about this to difficult child. In the end this is not so much about him. It is about me. mother in law really doesn't like me and because husband (her golden boy) stands up for me sooner or later when she harps on me, she tends to harp on difficult child (while pretending to be just a worried granny.) Luckily mostly when difficult child is not present.
On the other hand I do know I should probably be worried about mother in law. She has always been a piece of work but this is extreme even for her. She was almost out of control when she kept on ranting about difficult child. And it is not only about me or difficult child. She has been really prickly with neighbours, her own unfavoured children other relatives etc. lately. I can't say I would had noticed any major memory issues with her and she is still on her sixties, but I have wondered about dementia few times before during last year.