mother in law Turned difficult child

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Hound dog, Jun 1, 2009.

  1. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Like I needed another one in my life. :faint:

    I find myself cringing when she calls and avoiding going to see her. Awful, I know. And I feel plenty guilty about it, I assure you. But still......sigh. It's awfully hard to face her these days.

    This is NOT the woman I've known for the past 26 yrs. She's gone totally full blown difficult child. She's got herself worked up into a constant state of high anxiety/nerves and she's crowding a nervous breakdown big time. She's losing weight because she "can't eat". She sits all day and stews/worries about the house selling and running out of money. Literally wringing her hands. She cries. She calls us and cries, she cries when we come and see her. She can talk about nothing else but the house. NOTHING. Well, except the fact she is running out of money.:ashamed:

    Last time I saw her she was in such an agitated state I came so very close to telling her to just s uck it up already and get a grip. (my grandma is turning over in her grave as I type that part)

    But good grief, there is NO consoling her, no distracting her, no cheering her up. I give her an inch, she wants me every second of the day. I understand where she is coming from, seriously I do. But OMG I do not know how much more of it I can take.:whiteflag:

    I'm an awful daughter in law.

    I'm telling you now though........

    If this is what happens to people who have never truly known adversity in their lives........Heck, I'm glad I had more than my fair share, at least I can face homelessness, bill collectors, and worse without completely falling apart at the seams and becoming totally unable to function.

    I've given her back the responsibility of paying her own bills. I'm hoping it might help, and quite is a nitemare to attempt to keep track of her zillion of bills ontop of our monthly bills.

    She still won't talk to sister in law. She has decided somehow sister in law is to blame. Neither sister in law nor I can really figure out how this is supposed to be, but there is no convincing her otherwise. A shame because sister in law has always treated mother in law wonderfully. They were very close before this.

    To make matters worse, now that GM has filed for bankruptcy her stock is worthless. husband can't dump it. No one will touch it. She held on to it too long. sigh So now she's having a field day with that one as well. She's been harrassing us for a week. Which I put it all on husband as this is the crunch time before finals. He had a (sarcastic) wonderful time tonight attempting to explain to her why no one would buy it.

    And now she keeps talking about going home. I'm surprised she's even talking to me cuz everytime she does I firmly tell her that in no way in hades will she ever go home again, whether it sells or not. It is impossible for her to manuver around her house in the wheelchair. She knows that.

    Like I said, it's the crunch before finals so I didn't go see her over the weekend as usual. I've got several huge projects that need to be done that I'm working on. husband went but that wasn't good enough. It was probably mean but everytime she called I made husband talk to her. This only agitated her more. Tonight he handed the phone to me and walked away. And I swear she was in such a state I haven't a clue as to what she was talking about. husband had snuck off to bed so I didn't get to chew him out for handing me the phone. I was in the middle of a take home test for micro. grrrr

    If that house doesn't sell soon I'M going to loose my mind.:mad:

    Whew. Thanks. Now maybe I can sleep.
  2. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    Oh hon I had a feeling when all this started this might happen. Didn't want it to but I had that thought that it might be inevitable. Many hugs going your way.

  3. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    can she get a reversible mortage to help with money untill it sells?
  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    mother in law flat out refuses to have anything to do with reversable mortgage. I've tried repeatedly. sister in law has tried. brother in law has tried. And since all of us failed.....husband won't even bring it up.

    Which burns me up cuz if we could find a reputable company this would be a good answer for her. Oh well, her decision, not mine.
  5. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    My mom wouldn't hear of a reverse mortgage either. It feels way too much like theft to them. I can understand their fear. Mortgage companies fail. Big car dealers file bankruptcy. They have no guarantees. It's scary to be in that position.
  6. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    First of all...caller ID when you need your studying/sanity time. Just don't answer.

    I had a reversable mortgage on my Grandmother's house and it worked wonderful. She didn't really know what it was, but all she did know is she had some dollars coming in. I had power of attorney so I just made the choice. Didn't even tell her about it. The downside is you don't have as much equity in the home when it sells, but at 90 years old, I didn't really care. She needed funds as her SS was not enough. I used the bank that she used all her life. They always took good care of her (like the time she double paid on every bill putting her in the red and the bank called me and took care of all the doubling and charges) so I had full trust in them.

  7. Star*

    Star* call 911


    I guess the deal fell through with the people that were going to buy? Sorry. Really had high hopes for her.

    I talked to my Mom about reverse mortgage one time and Fran is right - Mom said it was nothing short of stealing. Her thoughts.

    Maybe there is a way that you can convince her to give you POA and do like Abbey did? Tell her I KNOW how to get money for your bills RIGHT NOW - and maybe that would solve it?

    I'm sorry you have to go through this - I wish you a day of peace in your life.