mother in law update

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by mstang67chic, Feb 19, 2010.

  1. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    I really don't know where things are headed with mother in law. The docs thought maybe she had a seizure or small stroke but testing was fine. They thought she had kidney issues but testing was fine. They put her on a vent, take her off and have to put her back on.

    Now...she's back on the vent because of fluid build up around her heart. husband is on such an emotional roller coaster and it kills me to see him on it. We went up the other night and mother in law was off the vent at that point. She looked really good actually and her oxygen levels on a canula were high 80's to low 90's and up. You could just look at husband and see the relief and joy at her improvement. Now....he's at work but called me with an update. He's in tears. husband is mother in law's guardian so he makes all of the decisions. The doctor asked him what husband wanted done if mother in law were to go into cardiac arrest/failure and he's told them to let her go. I can't begin to imagine what this is doing to him. The last time he had to decide to have her put back on the vent, he talked to his sibs and mother in law's brothers before he made a decision so I hate to think what it cost him to make the DNR decision so suddenly.

    mother in law's lungs are a mess and that seems to be a big part of everything else that is going on with her right now. Plus....with her Schizophrenia, she doesn't take care of herself the way she should and isn't in nearly the shape she should be. She smoked horribly for years, hence the condition of her lungs. (And by horribly I mean 5 packs a day)

    mother in law and I aren't the closest of people and honestly, I'm not around her that much. But...I don't want her to be sick and I know even while she's feeling better in some respects, she's still feeling bad, Know what I mean??

    husband is a walking guilt fest. He feels guilty because he didn't get her to the hospital sooner because mother in law kept telling him she was fine and he did the horrible thing of listening to his mother. If she passes, he's going to feel relief in a way. Of course THAT will give him a horrible case of the guilts too. You know how it is....he's responsible for everyone and everything so anything that happens is all his fault. *sigh* Sometimes it really hoovers being with a man with a good heart.
  2. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Did she ever express what she wanted?

    DFs mom has signed a DNR already. She wants no efforts. DF would be a wreck if he had to make that call for her.
  3. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Even at a good level of funtionality (mental and physical) for her, she's still not quite.....there. With that said though, I know husband has a pretty good handle on her views on that type of thing. He and his sibs have also discussed it and are in agreement. husband may have had to tell the doctor something right then and there but I can guarentee that even though he likes to chew on things for awhile, it's already been discussed with his sister, brothers and probably the uncles.