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Mother kicking out 10 yr old son
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<blockquote data-quote="PiscesMom" data-source="post: 705756" data-attributes="member: 19889"><p>Verbal and mental IS abuse, and it is serious. It can have damaging effects that last a lifetime. I know this firsthand.</p><p></p><p>One of you HAS to raise him. I am not sure why a child who looks different can't be accepted, that is very sad. Can't the older kids be talked to about this? Maybe it can be a nice teachable moment? If the older siblings (they are white?) can't accept the baby - that can be terribly damaging to the baby as well. How sad that siblings can't love each other.</p><p></p><p>OR you can both maybe put aside the hurt and anger from the divorce and really roll up your sleeves and work together on this. Is that possible?</p><p></p><p>I can't figure out if she just wants him gone so she can focus on her new family, or if his behavior is scaring her.</p><p></p><p>I dont think CPS will be any kind of help here. I have dealt with CPS, even been investigated by them. They concluded that despite my son's lies, that I was not abusive. Then it was over, and I hoped they would help but they were gone.</p><p></p><p>You may have to take in your son. He cannot be rejected by both parents, legally or morally. And if he does go live with you, try not to have either of you frame it as a rejection. He might never ever get over that kind of hurt.</p><p></p><p>My situation has some parallels. My ex husband hates me for divorcing him. He is absolutely bitter and really trashed me to everyone, especially to my children. Maybe I did that as well? It was a very ugly divorce. Then my son had his issues, and ended up with my ex because the courts didn't think it was safe for him to stay with me. My ex was sure unhappy about that. Neither of us is really equipped to deal with my son. So we should be co-parenting, but it doesn't seem to be possible.</p><p></p><p>Parenting is a HUGE responsibility. I didn't understand that when I was young. Please keep posting, take the advice you like, ignore what you don't.</p><p></p><p>I hope things get better. The good thing is he is only ten, and with intervention and love, depending on what is going on, he may have a good outcome.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="PiscesMom, post: 705756, member: 19889"] Verbal and mental IS abuse, and it is serious. It can have damaging effects that last a lifetime. I know this firsthand. One of you HAS to raise him. I am not sure why a child who looks different can't be accepted, that is very sad. Can't the older kids be talked to about this? Maybe it can be a nice teachable moment? If the older siblings (they are white?) can't accept the baby - that can be terribly damaging to the baby as well. How sad that siblings can't love each other. OR you can both maybe put aside the hurt and anger from the divorce and really roll up your sleeves and work together on this. Is that possible? I can't figure out if she just wants him gone so she can focus on her new family, or if his behavior is scaring her. I dont think CPS will be any kind of help here. I have dealt with CPS, even been investigated by them. They concluded that despite my son's lies, that I was not abusive. Then it was over, and I hoped they would help but they were gone. You may have to take in your son. He cannot be rejected by both parents, legally or morally. And if he does go live with you, try not to have either of you frame it as a rejection. He might never ever get over that kind of hurt. My situation has some parallels. My ex husband hates me for divorcing him. He is absolutely bitter and really trashed me to everyone, especially to my children. Maybe I did that as well? It was a very ugly divorce. Then my son had his issues, and ended up with my ex because the courts didn't think it was safe for him to stay with me. My ex was sure unhappy about that. Neither of us is really equipped to deal with my son. So we should be co-parenting, but it doesn't seem to be possible. Parenting is a HUGE responsibility. I didn't understand that when I was young. Please keep posting, take the advice you like, ignore what you don't. I hope things get better. The good thing is he is only ten, and with intervention and love, depending on what is going on, he may have a good outcome. [/QUOTE]
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