Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by upallnight, May 3, 2011.
I don't have plans..maybe I'll be surprised.
I'm going to my mom's for dinner. Other than that, we don't do anything big for it. Last year, neither one of my kids even acknowledged it, so I'm not getting my hopes up.
Well since my Mom has FOREVER wanted a Gardenia bush and lives in Ohio and can't have one? I found one on pro-flowers, used a coupon and ordered early! It's tiny - she can keep it inside and it's supposed to bloom once a year! I hope she likes it.
As for me in my house? Well I got a little knot in my knickers last year - DF made that "Well you aren't MY Mother statement" and I thought "Okay" I see - so that stopped all the frivolity of Me having the dogs get HIM a Fathers day present. I didn't even say Happy Fathers Day to him, and it was a very odd day last year. When he made comment about it? I said 'Well you aren't MY Father' ,and walked off. I didn't get anything from Dude, don't expect to this year either. I'm just glad to have peace and quiet in my home.
I do have an idea I thought I would run by you gals - Since it seems that it's a holiday where we should be remembered but we aren't? What if we just took $20 of our own money and got ourselves something anyway? I mean yea, it's supposed to be husbands and kids getting whatever - and a card - yadda yadda yadda. But instead of sitting around Sunday and not getting anything? What if we just cut out the middle man, took a cap of $20 or even $10 and had a pre-Mothers day outing for ourselves and got something for ourself BY ourself? Then Sunday night or Monday morning we have a post and it will say - So what did you get for Mothers Day and IF your kids DID do something - you can say that and if they didn't? You can say whAT YOU GOT YOURSELF? and not feel so left out?
huh? WHATTA YA SAY?
That's THIS coming Sunday? Wow I'm behind the times. No mother around to do something for, and the kids don't think much about it (although easy child did ask me for an idea for a little gift which made my day. I thought it was weeks away though for some reason). S/O is heavy into final exams with his last exam on Monday, so I don't think he's noticed any mothers day promotions or anything to tweak his memory about it.
I think I'm going to order a pizza for the three of us and let S/O study while easy child and I watch a movie and maybe play a few board games. Perhaps a walk to the lake front if the weather is nice, just spend some time with easy child.
I know husband appreciates me, but it has always been his attitude that Mothers Day is between a mother and her kids, not the husband. I'm cool with that.
We will probably cook a roast dinner at mother in law's for dinner. In the morning, I've been rostered on to take the church service. At least I don't have to do the sermon this time! But I must remember to involve Mothers Day somehow...
I like the $20 idea! Let's do that. husband said the exact thing to me, that I'm not his mother, so -good, I didn't have to do anything for Father's Day. But that morning guilt got the better of me and I did make sure the kids got him a cake and a gift. My 3 don't even know it's Mother's Day, even though they should.
Star you mom will love her gift! I got my mom 12 handmade soaps even though I never speak to her. And I do mean never, I would rather send it and be done with it.
husband used to say "You're not my mother" and my response was, "I'm the mother of your children so that's what counts. Plus, if you want anything for Father's Day, plan ahead."
It has worked well for many yrs.
Looks like we're going to have brunch at Bonefish Grill.
I mailed a bunch of Mother's Day cards--to my little sister, a friend in PA, another friend in town. I have several "adopted" mothers who have been very good to me over the yrs. and I like to show them I care.
My H, who is stepdad to my girls, has always acknowledged mothers day for me. I think maybe one or two years when we were having difficulties, he didn't. Not a bad record!
This year, since we're all tight on $$, I asked difficult child to come over and clean my house spic and span-like and easy child, my live in pastry chef, is going to make me lemon mascarpone filled crepes with a raspberry sauce...mmmmmmm. That's all I want. I'm hoping the weather is decent so I can wheel my mom outside for a bit. I was thinking of bringing her some lunch, a pastelles, she likes them.
Miss KT just asked me what I wanted for Mother's Day! Hubby will probably get me a card.
No idea what's going on with my mom or Hubby's mom. Guess I'd better figure something out.
Sunday will pull at my heartstrings. I don't get my Mom mother's day gifts. Never have. I do call her though, every single year. mother in law? I'd hunt around for weeks finding something to make the day special for her. Star, your Mom will LOVE the bush.............mother in law always was thrilled when I could find something like that for her. I'm sure gonna miss her this year. I already feel like my arms have been cut off. ugh Sort of floundering.
As for the kids? Who knows? Nichole's wedding and reception is friday and sat. My birthday was yesterday. Big week. lol Not really worried about it. More worried what on earth to get Nichole and boyfriend for a wedding present. (no clue) But I know the grands will have surprises........they always do. lol
Maybe if I get a chance to get some stamps I'll go out and pick out my Mom a nice card......send her some pics of the great grands. That ought to shock her. lol
My mother is dead but I never celebrated the day after I was about 12. If my mother in law feels like coming over, I'll have oldest boy pick her up.
As for me, I just want the boys to do their homework. That's ALL I ever want.
I like this idea, Star*. My mom is no longer around, and my kids -- well, you know the deal.
Last year on Mother's Day, I made a point of telling moms I admire what a great job they're doing. Not the moms whose kids are perfect high achievers, but the moms who are doing a great job with the hand they've been dealt. All of you fit into this category. There are some awesome moms on this board -- even if your kids don't realize it!:Grouphug:
Oddly enough, this was the weekend my sister and I chose to meet at my mom's and have the "aging parent talk". We just picked a date that was good for her not realizing it was M'sD weekend.
My mom is a very capable woman - she has handled all the estate/trust/investments stuff since my dad passed. She lives in a huge house with no help. She drives up and down interstate 95 between Difficult Child, here and Charlotte to visit family. She is 76. But things are beginning to get tougher. She has had a couple health scares recently. She is starting to forget little things here and there.... We just want to make sure that everything is straight should one of the four of us kids have to come in and handle things.
My sister is only 1/2 hour away from mom so she is going home but I will spend the night with Mom Saturday and we are going out to dinner. Sunday I will leave fairly early, I'm two hours south from her. easy child and difficult child are doing dinner themselves! This will be the first time my kids are cooked a "surprise" meal together for me. Should I be scared?
So sorry for all of you who have lost their mother's and m-i-ls and miss them ... I know the feeling. It is nice and it is rewarding to see others who parent their kids with-love and competence and tell them or send a card of support. People appreciate it.
Happy Mother's Day to all of you--and especially those who go unappreciated.
Mother's day is a bittersweet/emotional day.
I'll be spending Sunday at my Parents. We do this every Sunday since Grandma moved in. The only difference this time is that my Dad and husband will take care of all the dinner plans. husband already has the steaks ordered. It will be nice with my Mom and Grandma.
Before dinner, we will stop and visit with husband's Grandma. I'm making pumpkin bread for her. She loves my pumpkin bread.
easy child will call or text, but he'll wait until late in the day. He does that to drive all his female friends up the wall. He will be getting reminders from them starting first thing in the morning. He loves to aggitate them by saying "She knows I love her, I don't have to tell her just cuz it's Mom's Day." (easy child is such an aggitator)
I don't know if I'll hear from Ant or not. He said he'D be over for dinner, but with him you never know. Either way, the relationship has been improving over the year so I'm happy.
With Steph, it's heart-wrenching either way. Either I won't hear anything, or I'll get a short text. I don't know which will sting more. She won't talk or text me. So a text on my B-day or Mom's day is just a reminder of how there isn't a relationship there.
I won't do anything for mother in law. I refuse. husband hasn't decided if he's going to text or not. He won't call, he doesn't want to talk to her at all.
Star - Your idea is great! In fact, the TV show "The Middle" had the main character enjoying her "real" Mother's Day on the Monday after when she takes herself out for a slice of her favorite pie. I thought that was a great plan last year.
Mother's Day is one of "those" days for me.
I try to always do something for MY mom. But it's very bittersweet for me as a Mom - because my kids are, well, not mine.
husband doesn't think about it. Seriously - it just does not cross his mind (but let me forget Father's Day - !) My Mom will give me a card.
2003, 2004, 2005 - Not married to husband, so wasn't technically ANY kind of mom. No acknowledgement. Didn't stress it.
2006 - Jett brought me a gift he made in school. Then informed me I had to share it with BM. Nothing from Onyxx.
2007 - Ditto. Also, Onyxx stole husband's cell phone, attacked him and we ended up with a protective order. husband took the kids to get me a rosebush - and got a potted gardenia (I despise gardenias, but they did not know the difference, and so I said nothing).
2008 - Jett made two gifts this year, and somehow BM's went missing. Suspect Onyxx trashed it. father in law and husband got together and gave me a basket of flowers and plants. The rosebush survived...
2009 - Jett made two gifts. Onyxx actually gave me a decorated paper bag with a tissue-paper flower and a card.
2010 - Jett conned my mother into paying for roses. On the day they were delivered, he informed me that I had to share them with BM. (My mother was livid, as she had explained to Jett that if he wanted flowers for BM, he needed to talk to his stepfather.) Onyxx brought me a small cake from Kroger at the last minute. (Hey, she remembered!)
To be honest, I really hope Jett does NOTHING this year. I'd rather have no acknowledgement than have to SHARE. Maybe I'm selfish, but honestly? After what has happened to these two? Don't care to be equated with her.
Jett will be at BM's anyway this weekend. Perhaps I can get husband to take me to dinner. My Mom is flying to NJ Sunday, so Saturday I'm going to go spend some time with her.
And maybe, just maybe... I will have a "real" reason to celebrate Mother's Day as an actual "real Mom".
I have no plans. I did tell husband that if anyone asked, I'd like a bathrobe. He and I have a deal - he's not my dad so I don't buy him father's day gifts, I'm not his mom, so visa versa.
I haven't heard from the kids. I imagine that M will spend it with my mother and my sisters. I imagine that L will spend it either with them as well, or with her step-mother's family. Usually by Wednesday of M Day week I get a phone call from her asking me what my plan for M's Day is and I always tell her I have no plans, I'm not my mother and whoever is doing something for my mom hasn't invited me. I often tell her that I would like to have her spend time with me doing something I like such as garden and she never is usually insulted. Most often it ends up with us going out and husband having to buy his own dinner. Not happening again. Eating out is a chore on M Day, and I don't need the extra calories. But if they'd like to do eating out, they have to pay for my hubby because otherwise he won't eat. If they want to spend time elsewise with me, then they don't have to include him - plain as day.
Last year I ended up staining the deck on M Day because husband put his back out scrubbing it, and if we had let it go until he was better it would have needed to be scrubbed again and I wasn't going to do it, too. M showed up when I was nearly finished with my second coat and asked if he could help and I turned him down because it would have looked odd - different people apply stain differently. husband was passed out on muscle relaxers, and I think I got a pizza, or maybe I cooked dinner.
Not big Mother's Day fans at the Witzend household.
My husband is of the same mind-set, that I am not his mother so I do nothing for him on Father's day anymore, either. That is fine with me - I get it.
My kids are horrible about acknowledging it. Usually difficult child gets into trouble EVERY holiday. The year before last, difficult child cussed me out in front of my friends on Mother's day. That was quite the gift.
Last year she drew me a card and I still have it on my fridge, but it was very last minute and only because I said something. She will call me on Sunday. I know she will. We have been chatting more lately. Maybe we will start building a better relationship now that she is not living at home.
My son will probably have his head in the clouds like normal...lol. Not a mean bone in his body and I am sure it doesn't even occur to him. He is just a space shot...lol.
I was planning on relaxing by the pool.....maybe having a few mimosas.....but the water is still a bit too cold for my liking.
StepTo2, your Mother's Days sound like my husband's Father's Days ... one yr, our borzoi attacked and nearly killed the neighbor's King Charles Spaniel that had wandered into our yard, another yr, he rushed me to the ER with-a huge Vit C stuck in my throat and I was coughing up blood, another yr the power went out ... Now when you say "Father's Day," he flinches.
I always felt like my Mom got the short end because her birthday is so close to Mother's Day. I just got back from spending a girls' weekend with her for her birthday. We went shopping, had dinner, worked on some projects around her house, and just talked. I've sent her a beautiful purple azalea for her Mothers' Day. Purple is her favorite color, and she even had her bedroom painted purple I'll plant the azalea in her yard in the fall. I've been sending her flowering plants that end up in her yard for some time now. And, last, but not least, sappy Mothers' Day cards! The gushier the better. She know that the boys don't pick out their cards - but it's the thought that counts, right?
My thoughts go out to those who have lost their Mom, because it makes the day difficult - thinking about how it was, and how it could have been. I know how much I miss my father on Father's Day...
My guys are not very sentimental guys - but maybe someday? I'm wishing everyone a fabulous day on Sunday - take some special time and keep 'em guessing
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