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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 687484" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>my dear sweat friend, I don't think we will ever know the answer to this. I have wondered the same thing about my own son. I think that for some of our d_c's it's just easier to blame their parents than it is to look in the mirror and see that they are the source of all that is wrong in their life. While they live in an adult body their minds are still very immature. They still see us as their rescuer, the one who will kiss their boo boo and make everything okay and we as parent can also get stuck in this mind set. </p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes, she may try to make you feel like a failure but you do not have to give her that power. Again, her thinking is immature in her expectation of what you should do for her, instead of what <span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: #5900b3">SHE should be doing for herself</span></span>.</p><p></p><p></p><p>You are making progress. Yes, it hurts that we as mothers cannot make everything okay for our kids but it's not our job anymore as they are adults. You, I and all the other parents who are dealing with a Difficult Child have nothing to feel guilty about. We have all tried to help our adult children to be the masters of their own lives. We have not failed them.</p><p></p><p>As for Mother's Day - my son has not acknowledged me on Mother's Day, Birthday, Christmas or any other day in years, I mean YEARS!!</p><p>While my son will occasionally reach out to me it's always about him, he never asks how I am.</p><p>It used to hurt but I changed my thinking about it. On Mother's Day I will be grateful and remember the good times of being a mom. I will be grateful that I even got to be a mother. </p><p></p><p>BIG ((HUGS)) TO YOU!!!!!!!!!!</p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/flowers.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":flowers:" title="flowers :flowers:" data-shortname=":flowers:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 687484, member: 18516"] my dear sweat friend, I don't think we will ever know the answer to this. I have wondered the same thing about my own son. I think that for some of our d_c's it's just easier to blame their parents than it is to look in the mirror and see that they are the source of all that is wrong in their life. While they live in an adult body their minds are still very immature. They still see us as their rescuer, the one who will kiss their boo boo and make everything okay and we as parent can also get stuck in this mind set. Yes, she may try to make you feel like a failure but you do not have to give her that power. Again, her thinking is immature in her expectation of what you should do for her, instead of what [SIZE=5][COLOR=#5900b3]SHE should be doing for herself[/COLOR][/SIZE]. You are making progress. Yes, it hurts that we as mothers cannot make everything okay for our kids but it's not our job anymore as they are adults. You, I and all the other parents who are dealing with a Difficult Child have nothing to feel guilty about. We have all tried to help our adult children to be the masters of their own lives. We have not failed them. As for Mother's Day - my son has not acknowledged me on Mother's Day, Birthday, Christmas or any other day in years, I mean YEARS!! While my son will occasionally reach out to me it's always about him, he never asks how I am. It used to hurt but I changed my thinking about it. On Mother's Day I will be grateful and remember the good times of being a mom. I will be grateful that I even got to be a mother. BIG ((HUGS)) TO YOU!!!!!!!!!! :flowers: [/QUOTE]
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