Mourning......to Morning

New Leaf

Well-Known Member
Cold winds blow in the darkest of nights
Entrenched at home, consumed by fright
My child has wandered off from me
Pain and sorrow is all I see
I reach for her, she is not there
My soul cries out in deep despair
In the shadow, I lay, ensnared
There is no comfort to be found
To my child, my heart is bound
The tempest swirls inside my head
Filling my mind with fearful dread
I am lost upon an endless sea
Crying silently
A burning
churning
choking fear
a solitary tear
one more
another
Where is the solace for
a mother

then

who in her womb
hope began
belly swelled
filled with wonder
each movement
anticipation
The pangs of birth
can't compare
with the joy
memories
we share.
Joy
memories

I held her to my breast
chubby hand
gripped my finger
oh, so tight
in her eyes
I saw the light
I rocked her
gently
through sleepless night
She took her first step
I held my breath
and soothed her
when she fell

held her in my arms
enchanted by her charms.......

now

she has fallen
into a trance
hypnotized
by drug dance

I hold her in my heart

I pray for her at daybreaks start

loved her then and love her still
If only love could sway her will

If only love could save

If I could catch each tear
that fell
bottle them up
create a spell
magically
Erase the the path
lead upon drugs steely wrath
and beckon
joy
memories

If only love could save.
If only love could save
her
save
me

Fear
turn
to
brave
sorrow
turn
to
hope
despair
turn
to
air
With every breath
I breathe
In faith I will believe
The choices made
are choices now
lessons learned
and still some how
some way
though suffered loss
sleepless nights
nightmares toss
prayers go out
whispered
then shouted
with each sunrise
I wake
and rise above
with the power
of God's love
rise up to greet another day
shake off the mourning felt through night
the wave of grief
fades from sight
and I fight
this fight
with firm belief
that though drugs
came like a thief
led my child down miseries path
she will have to learn
her inner spark still
yearns
I will gaze upon
joy
memories
send them out
upon the breeze
she will breathe
in
joy
memories
joy memories
turn
mourning to
morning.
For the end of story has not been written
Mourning to morning
dusk to dawn
I will carry on
and survive upon
faith
and joy
memories.

leafy
 

HMBgal

Well-Known Member
Oh my. Speechless. So sadly beautiful and heartbreaking. And yet we hope. My dear niece just relapsed in a very bad way and is now homeless, only this time she has two small children. They do have a good daddy and grandparents looking after them. Holding all in my heart, for all of our children.
 

PonyGirl65

Active Member
:group-hug:Leafy...

Well done, well said my friend. THANK You, for letting me know, once again, I AM NOT ALONE. You are here, with me! We are ALL here, TOGETHER. Thank you.
 

New Leaf

Well-Known Member
CATS - Memory (with lyrics)

Thank you all, still trying to work through this. Please bear with me. It is the only way I know how to climb this mountain......thank you very much for your kind words.
Praying for a new day to begin for Rain, and me. Hoping she will remember her value and worth, and with Gods help, I can lift myself up again.......

leafy
 

Nature

Active Member
Thank you Leafy for such beautiful words. I admire your talent and your ability to reach out to always say kind words to others despite your own pain. Thank you for your wonderful spirit.
 

UKMummy

Member
Leafy. I hope I can send you a tiny bit of the comfort that you so generously give on this group. I am so sorry for your loss. Know that we are here for you as you have been for us. You are such a special person. Sending you big hugs x
 

DarkwingPsyduck

Active Member
It was beautiful. I really wish I had that kind of creativity. But I have close to no creativity. Mom always told me that my twin sister got ALL the creativity, while I got ALL the intelligence. Nothing I make or do with my hands can be considered creative. I am the kind of guy who could catch a bowl of cold cereal on fire.
 

InsaneCdn

Well-Known Member
I am the kind of guy who could catch a bowl of cold cereal on fire.
Darkwing, you underestimate yourself. That is a very "artistic" way of describing yourself. And while you may not have a way with your hands - and therefore, find even cooking a challenge ;) - it doesn't mean you have no creativity. You just haven't found ways to express it yet.
 

DarkwingPsyduck

Active Member
Darkwing, you underestimate yourself. That is a very "artistic" way of describing yourself. And while you may not have a way with your hands - and therefore, find even cooking a challenge ;) - it doesn't mean you have no creativity. You just haven't found ways to express it yet.
That may be so, but I have my doubts. Not only did drug addiction stunt my development, but I didn't have real parents even before that. I can't fix a car, or cook a meal. It is only by the grace of God that I can shave, and I am really not very good at that. Learned through trial and error. Not athletic, not particularly impressive in any way. I love music, and I can understand it, but I cannot produce it myself. I am not very well educated, or mature. Experience is about the only thing I have going for me. Unfortunately, a big chunk of that experience is me doing the wrong things. So I am VERY good at that. Still working on doing the right things.
 

New Leaf

Well-Known Member
DWP, please never ever underestimate your value and worth. I have been following along here and there and am amazed at your journey, and the courage it must take to share from your heart. Every single human being has a spark and potential to make a great difference on this earth. You have turned your life around and are now taking time to educate and comfort the good folks here on the disease of addiction. It is a rare look into the story from the other side. My thanks to you for being here and sharing your viewpoint. Your responses are real and kind. Reading them has helped me to understand a bit more about my two. It has helped me to navigate the stormy waters of dealing with this heart and head.
You are a wonderful person who has made mistakes, it is not the mistake to focus on, for we are all imperfect humans. It is what is done to make amends and rebuild. Stay on your course and know that your story and willingness to truthfully share has positively impacted many. That my dear soldier is the firm foundation you can stand on as you make your life anew.

You are a good person with unmeasurable value.

(((Hugs)))
Leaf
 
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