Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by New Leaf, Mar 17, 2016.

  1. New Leaf

    New Leaf Well-Known Member

    Cold winds blow in the darkest of nights
    Entrenched at home, consumed by fright
    My child has wandered off from me
    Pain and sorrow is all I see
    I reach for her, she is not there
    My soul cries out in deep despair
    In the shadow, I lay, ensnared
    There is no comfort to be found
    To my child, my heart is bound
    The tempest swirls inside my head
    Filling my mind with fearful dread
    I am lost upon an endless sea
    Crying silently
    A burning
    choking fear
    a solitary tear
    one more
    Where is the solace for
    a mother


    who in her womb
    hope began
    belly swelled
    filled with wonder
    each movement
    The pangs of birth
    can't compare
    with the joy
    we share.

    I held her to my breast
    chubby hand
    gripped my finger
    oh, so tight
    in her eyes
    I saw the light
    I rocked her
    through sleepless night
    She took her first step
    I held my breath
    and soothed her
    when she fell

    held her in my arms
    enchanted by her charms.......


    she has fallen
    into a trance
    by drug dance

    I hold her in my heart

    I pray for her at daybreaks start

    loved her then and love her still
    If only love could sway her will

    If only love could save

    If I could catch each tear
    that fell
    bottle them up
    create a spell
    Erase the the path
    lead upon drugs steely wrath
    and beckon

    If only love could save.
    If only love could save

    With every breath
    I breathe
    In faith I will believe
    The choices made
    are choices now
    lessons learned
    and still some how
    some way
    though suffered loss
    sleepless nights
    nightmares toss
    prayers go out
    then shouted
    with each sunrise
    I wake
    and rise above
    with the power
    of God's love
    rise up to greet another day
    shake off the mourning felt through night
    the wave of grief
    fades from sight
    and I fight
    this fight
    with firm belief
    that though drugs
    came like a thief
    led my child down miseries path
    she will have to learn
    her inner spark still
    I will gaze upon
    send them out
    upon the breeze
    she will breathe
    joy memories
    mourning to
    For the end of story has not been written
    Mourning to morning
    dusk to dawn
    I will carry on
    and survive upon
    and joy

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  2. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet


    Excellent! Wow! Impressive.
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  3. New Leaf

    New Leaf Well-Known Member

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  4. New Leaf

    New Leaf Well-Known Member

  5. HMBgal

    HMBgal Active Member

    Oh my. Speechless. So sadly beautiful and heartbreaking. And yet we hope. My dear niece just relapsed in a very bad way and is now homeless, only this time she has two small children. They do have a good daddy and grandparents looking after them. Holding all in my heart, for all of our children.
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  6. PonyGirl65

    PonyGirl65 Active Member


    Well done, well said my friend. THANK You, for letting me know, once again, I AM NOT ALONE. You are here, with me! We are ALL here, TOGETHER. Thank you.
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  7. savior no more

    savior no more Active Member

    Captivating - and oh so true! Great poem - I love it.
  8. Roxona

    Roxona Active Member

    Thanks for the poem and songs leafy. Very beautiful. :love:
  9. New Leaf

    New Leaf Well-Known Member

    CATS - Memory (with lyrics)

    Thank you all, still trying to work through this. Please bear with me. It is the only way I know how to climb this mountain......thank you very much for your kind words.
    Praying for a new day to begin for Rain, and me. Hoping she will remember her value and worth, and with Gods help, I can lift myself up again.......

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  10. Nature

    Nature Active Member

    Thank you Leafy for such beautiful words. I admire your talent and your ability to reach out to always say kind words to others despite your own pain. Thank you for your wonderful spirit.
  11. Albatross

    Albatross Well-Known Member

    How beautiful, Leafy. Thank you for sharing that with us.
  12. UKMummy

    UKMummy Member

    Leafy. I hope I can send you a tiny bit of the comfort that you so generously give on this group. I am so sorry for your loss. Know that we are here for you as you have been for us. You are such a special person. Sending you big hugs x
  13. DarkwingPsyduck

    DarkwingPsyduck Active Member

    Did you write that, leafy? It's impressive.
  14. DarkwingPsyduck

    DarkwingPsyduck Active Member

    If we're just posting awesome songs.... :)
  15. PonyGirl65

    PonyGirl65 Active Member

    :)Hey Darky, yes, Leafy wrote that :)
  16. DarkwingPsyduck

    DarkwingPsyduck Active Member

    It was beautiful. I really wish I had that kind of creativity. But I have close to no creativity. Mom always told me that my twin sister got ALL the creativity, while I got ALL the intelligence. Nothing I make or do with my hands can be considered creative. I am the kind of guy who could catch a bowl of cold cereal on fire.
  17. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Darkwing, you underestimate yourself. That is a very "artistic" way of describing yourself. And while you may not have a way with your hands - and therefore, find even cooking a challenge ;) - it doesn't mean you have no creativity. You just haven't found ways to express it yet.
  18. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member many prayers and hoping you have strength. Thinking of you often.
  19. DarkwingPsyduck

    DarkwingPsyduck Active Member

    That may be so, but I have my doubts. Not only did drug addiction stunt my development, but I didn't have real parents even before that. I can't fix a car, or cook a meal. It is only by the grace of God that I can shave, and I am really not very good at that. Learned through trial and error. Not athletic, not particularly impressive in any way. I love music, and I can understand it, but I cannot produce it myself. I am not very well educated, or mature. Experience is about the only thing I have going for me. Unfortunately, a big chunk of that experience is me doing the wrong things. So I am VERY good at that. Still working on doing the right things.
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  20. New Leaf

    New Leaf Well-Known Member

    DWP, please never ever underestimate your value and worth. I have been following along here and there and am amazed at your journey, and the courage it must take to share from your heart. Every single human being has a spark and potential to make a great difference on this earth. You have turned your life around and are now taking time to educate and comfort the good folks here on the disease of addiction. It is a rare look into the story from the other side. My thanks to you for being here and sharing your viewpoint. Your responses are real and kind. Reading them has helped me to understand a bit more about my two. It has helped me to navigate the stormy waters of dealing with this heart and head.
    You are a wonderful person who has made mistakes, it is not the mistake to focus on, for we are all imperfect humans. It is what is done to make amends and rebuild. Stay on your course and know that your story and willingness to truthfully share has positively impacted many. That my dear soldier is the firm foundation you can stand on as you make your life anew.

    You are a good person with unmeasurable value.

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